˙llǝʍ ɥO
˙ʇou ʎlqɐqoɹԀ
˙ǝlqıssod sı sıɥʇ ɟı ʍouʞ uǝʌǝ ʇ,uop I
˙ɹǝʌǝ ˙ʇ,uop ʎǝɥʇ ɥɔıɥM ˙ʇı pɐǝɹ ʎllɐnʇɔɐ ʎǝɥʇ ɟı ǝɯıʇ s,ʎpoqʎɹǝʌǝ sǝʇsɐʍ ʇI ˙sıɥʇ ǝʞıl ƃuıdʎʇ ǝʌol I
I've realized my true potential. (see below)
July 29, 2011
July 16, 2011
Me Versus an Indescribable Foe!
Rule number 1: If your back tickles, kill the mosquito, before it kills you.
Me Versus an Indescribable Foe!
It all started out after I got a haircut. I was in the bathroom checking out my new hairdo when I saw a wavy form outside the window. I couldn't really see what it was because of the stupid blotted blue glass they use in restrooms. I hurried and dried my hair and jumped through the window to the recently mowed yard below. Wait! Revise: I hurried and dried the window and jumped through my yard below to the recently mowed hair.
I checked under all my blue spruces in my yard and around every lawn dart. But there was nothing that could have made such a big moving figure on the lawn.
"what the gnome?" I thought to myself. And then I was like: "But what if it dug a hole and got away?" And sure enough I found a huge 12 by 8 hole dug in the garden right where I had just planted a Cilantro Plant. "Right." I said.
I grabbed a flashlight and a pocketknife and jumped into the hole. Which was stupid. I forgot that its possible to dig down into the bedrock and not just sideways...
I estimated I fell for about 41 seconds, which ended up me landing 230 feet deep in a pool of muddy water. Immediately I was plunged in darkness when my flashlight sank to the bottom of the water tunnel. I swam around, stunned and in shock for a while. I regained my senses and swam to the edges of the hole trying to find a way out of this darkened dismal mud hole. I found nothing but rock.
"Oh crap." I said, swimming another circle to recheck.
I yelled for help and screamed but nothing.
I started panicking and kicked, but my foot didn't kick the wall, it kept going and I busted my hip on the edge of an underwater tunnel.
I didn't know If that went to anywhere, but I might have a chance of escaping if I swam down there. I took the deepest biggest breath ever in the History of Houdini.
I dove and swam through the hole, and I swam and swam and swam, and the tunnel curved up! And there was air! But it was still dark. but the tunnel walls weren't vertical and I climbed out onto a muddy service that I couldn't see.
I started my gradual accent upwards. Sloshing through who knows what in my white golf shoes.
And I finally saw light! I rushed towards it and... I was in a cave lit by a lantern sitting on a bucket. And that's all. No exit. Nobody.
I opened the bucket. It was full of iron bars each 3 feet long.
Then I had an idea. But I never got the chance cause I hand grabbed me and shoved me into the wall.
I was spun around and faced a large man with bushy facial features.
"What?" I said.
"I didn't say nothing." He growled.
"But why are you hurting me into the wall?"
"... You're in my cave."
"Okay bye." And I raced for the door, but I was still pinned on the wall, so I didn't get very far.
"Crap." I said and tried again, but I didn't get any farther.
I finally had to kill the man. REVISE: I finally bit the man and he let me go for a second and then charged me in his bold outrage of having teeth marks in his hairy knuckles. I dodged and he slammed into the wall. A huge portion of the wall collapsed and buried the man, so only his leather boots were sticking out.
Now since I was free. I reached into the bucket and pulled one of the bars out. I bent it, and then heated it in the lanternand stopped when it was white hot, and I scraped the edge off with my knife until it was sharp. I stuck the metal into the mud to cool. I repeated this until I had 4 sharp iron bars. I ripped my shirt and tied 2 of these to my shoes. The other 2 I had in my hands. I swam to the original hole and started climbing. It was tough work but I eventually made it to the top and pulled myself out into my garden. heavy breathing
I got off my flattened tomato plants and went inside.
So this was the day I killed a man in a cave protecting iron bars that were able to melt in a lantern and sharpen with a pocketknife. The iron was FAKE!
Me Versus an Indescribable Foe!
It all started out after I got a haircut. I was in the bathroom checking out my new hairdo when I saw a wavy form outside the window. I couldn't really see what it was because of the stupid blotted blue glass they use in restrooms. I hurried and dried my hair and jumped through the window to the recently mowed yard below. Wait! Revise: I hurried and dried the window and jumped through my yard below to the recently mowed hair.
I checked under all my blue spruces in my yard and around every lawn dart. But there was nothing that could have made such a big moving figure on the lawn.
"what the gnome?" I thought to myself. And then I was like: "But what if it dug a hole and got away?" And sure enough I found a huge 12 by 8 hole dug in the garden right where I had just planted a Cilantro Plant. "Right." I said.
I grabbed a flashlight and a pocketknife and jumped into the hole. Which was stupid. I forgot that its possible to dig down into the bedrock and not just sideways...
I estimated I fell for about 41 seconds, which ended up me landing 230 feet deep in a pool of muddy water. Immediately I was plunged in darkness when my flashlight sank to the bottom of the water tunnel. I swam around, stunned and in shock for a while. I regained my senses and swam to the edges of the hole trying to find a way out of this darkened dismal mud hole. I found nothing but rock.
"Oh crap." I said, swimming another circle to recheck.
I yelled for help and screamed but nothing.
I started panicking and kicked, but my foot didn't kick the wall, it kept going and I busted my hip on the edge of an underwater tunnel.
I didn't know If that went to anywhere, but I might have a chance of escaping if I swam down there. I took the deepest biggest breath ever in the History of Houdini.
I dove and swam through the hole, and I swam and swam and swam, and the tunnel curved up! And there was air! But it was still dark. but the tunnel walls weren't vertical and I climbed out onto a muddy service that I couldn't see.
I started my gradual accent upwards. Sloshing through who knows what in my white golf shoes.
And I finally saw light! I rushed towards it and... I was in a cave lit by a lantern sitting on a bucket. And that's all. No exit. Nobody.
I opened the bucket. It was full of iron bars each 3 feet long.
Then I had an idea. But I never got the chance cause I hand grabbed me and shoved me into the wall.
I was spun around and faced a large man with bushy facial features.
"What?" I said.
"I didn't say nothing." He growled.
"But why are you hurting me into the wall?"
"... You're in my cave."
"Okay bye." And I raced for the door, but I was still pinned on the wall, so I didn't get very far.
"Crap." I said and tried again, but I didn't get any farther.
I finally had to kill the man. REVISE: I finally bit the man and he let me go for a second and then charged me in his bold outrage of having teeth marks in his hairy knuckles. I dodged and he slammed into the wall. A huge portion of the wall collapsed and buried the man, so only his leather boots were sticking out.
Now since I was free. I reached into the bucket and pulled one of the bars out. I bent it, and then heated it in the lanternand stopped when it was white hot, and I scraped the edge off with my knife until it was sharp. I stuck the metal into the mud to cool. I repeated this until I had 4 sharp iron bars. I ripped my shirt and tied 2 of these to my shoes. The other 2 I had in my hands. I swam to the original hole and started climbing. It was tough work but I eventually made it to the top and pulled myself out into my garden. heavy breathing
I got off my flattened tomato plants and went inside.
So this was the day I killed a man in a cave protecting iron bars that were able to melt in a lantern and sharpen with a pocketknife. The iron was FAKE!
July 13, 2011
Stung
owI have never been stung by a bee until now.
I was riding my bike at about 9:00 P.M. and a hornet flew up my sleeve. I was stung right behind the armpit, on my trapeze muscle.
It didn't hurt as bad as I though it would but it still hurt. There was a couple walking across the street when it stung my and I yelled: "OW, What the?" and stopped my bike and grabbed my shirt's sleeve and shook like crazy freeing the frenzied hornet that was trapped in my 100% cotton arm hole. The couple looked at me and then left the approximate square mile as fast as their little hairless legs could carry them. I just continued on my way.
Then I had to feed some chickens and some rabbits that are bred for eating.
July 4, 2011
Yawn
Summer
IS
Boring
and Happy 4th of July. Exactly 120 days til my birthday. AKA exactly 4 months. I always know the 4th of July is 120 days to my birthday. :|
IS
Boring
and Happy 4th of July. Exactly 120 days til my birthday. AKA exactly 4 months. I always know the 4th of July is 120 days to my birthday. :|
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