"I`R0N

~- Warning -~ May contain spoilers.

I saw TRON! Tron rocked. And the music was wonderfully amazingly cool! Just like my cousin Jim said. My favorite part was the Lightcycle and Lightjet chases! Whoa! I also loved the creative way to derez a person. They just shatter! Cool. I'd have to say, that is my favorite movie. It expanded the first one but didn't really ruin anything. I was really hoping that Clu and his evil minions would come into the human world. It would be cool. I can see it now... 100 Lightjets destroying L.A. A squadron of Lightfighters demolishing New York. A Recognizer ripping apart the Eiffel Tower... Uhhhh .... Anyway.

I would draw another picture, but... the movie kind of deteriorated my self esteem. The movie had real good animation and, and  AND ANDNAN DNANDNNA DNN N!  HAHAHAHAHAH! ASDHFdisghdasgjdjs jsorry... sorry. I got excited there. Hope you couldn't tell. It wasn't drugs. I can prove it. OFF SUBJECT:

Good byebye. Til next time... sincerely

                                                          - OBSIDIAN-

Pain is drawn to me. (stupid pun)

If you haven't noticed, I've drawn myself quite a bit, getting mutilated. You've seen my brain, you've seen me burning, you've seen me turned into a skunk (no wait! that was Beaver Pavilion), and you've seen me about to get maimed by a medicine cabinet. You see, these are all reflections of my life, being rhetorical or pyramided. (is that a word?) anyway... I was going to ask something but I forgot... Oh yes! Since I can see your jocund compensation of my paroxysm, I will gladly take proffers for more artwork concerning my capitulum being lacerated. (sorry for the prodigious morphemes I've been using, I'll repeat all of this so you can understand)
Since I can see your gleeful reactions of my pain, I will gladly take suggestions for more artwork concerning (you know what concerning means right?) my head being tortured. (sorry for the big words I've been using)
So I will now draw one more symbol of my life, and you can give me suggestions in form of a comment.

(AND I AM NOT SUICIDAL) It's just that I'm good at drawing myself... erhm, not that I'm vain or anything...

A ton of TRON.

I am really excited about seeing Tron! It looks really good. It will probably be so good I'll "derez" my pants! Derez is the abbreviation of derezolutionize. Just for some info...

I really liked the old Tron even though the special effects suck. I still like it. Okay, here I am wearing a Tron outfit:

There's my lightcycle in the back. Downstairs on my dad's whiteboard, I drew a dry erase picture of two lightcycles intercepting each other while a guy stands holding a ID disk (humming with power). It's much better than the pic. above. If you want to see it, you better come to my house within a couple days or so.

Well see you guys.

Christmas, sea mammals, and start menus

Christmas is full of toys, joy, and jollyness. But, the week after is full of school thinking and deep depression. But, alas, some people just love to do puzzles. Some like sausage, some like harps, and some like puzzles. But too many can be a bad thing. Just like psychedelic start menus. (let's not get into that). Sadly, my pet geneospecial calangidus died. (also called a sea achidna.) Thats all.

The all knowing, best thinking, most fingering one,

Me

True or Salsa

I love salsa. True or false? My yodeling is...
(A) getting worse
(B) improving
(C) non-existent
So what do pineapples have to do with anything? That's exactly my point. After I was spammed by Barrack Obama on my Email Account, I sold all of mine. So I built it completely out of a card stock origami swans. Then I created a 100 poker card house and It was knocked over when my 007 friend yelled at me.
I love salsa.
My yodeling is improving.
I am so sorry. I had an idea for this post but I forgot it overnight. My nightlight's fault. Actually I tried to type this yesterday, but my computer wouldn't even turn on because some DST drive was painfully missing. Whatever a DST drive is. It sounds like a bug repellent. Maybe it is.

"100% whole wheat" it said. Maybe I'm having a nervous breakdown. But then I'd be a dolphin. (It's a Crayon color) Nervous Breakdown Dolphin. I love that color. It's looks like this.

So there you have it. I also drew this: The left side is my sisters version and the right is mine. It's about the same quality as hers, but I spent about 10 minutes doing the coconut's shadow. Any questions?

4D?

Earlier today I was contemplating the possibility of a skunk (Mephitis Mephitis) appearing in my room. Teleporting in, if you will. Then I realized, it would have to be from the fourth dimension or beyond. Teleporting in the third dimension is quite impossible, you see. The nanoparticles which make up the organisms called homosapians simply do not energize correctly when responding to anthoparatic jolts of energy.
But anyway, I figured that it would be quite unlikely for a 4D skunk to come to the third dimension. There is so much less to do here! No free interstellar pancakes, no megatortic protons, and such stuff. And it would be fairly boring if it did appear, for we (being 3D) cannot understand the complexity of the galotrousious fourth dimension. So, it would look like a normal Mephitis Mephitis.

I need a trophy.

I do. It's true. Leave me alone. My feelings got Fruzzed. :(

If I could go back to yesterday... Ahhh. Beatles or something. I had to avoid my medicine cabinet. It has sharp teeth and was creeping me out. Just a bit.

Which reminds me: I need to learn how to shade better in Microsoft Paint. Oh well. It could be compared to this rainbow tunnel thing that I drew:

Can you imagine

getting absorbed into this horrible neon torture? It burns me! Actually I just made this post so I could draw on Paint.

Spacestation

I am building a space station. It will have state of the art technology and over 110 petabytes of storage. All the walls will be covered in:

Celestron, buy at amazon.

Kindle Wireless Reading Device, Wi-Fi, Graphite, 6" Display with New E Ink Pearl Technology! Yeah! There will be a total of 150 habitable rooms and 30 docking bays. There will be an alarm system for anything that goes wrong. There is a back-up alarm system that is an annoying recording of a kazoo. The ship will have a large storage brain and will be able to talk and understand things you say.

There will be over 13 high-tech telescopes and 100 people working there.

Yeah :( It will orbit Earth at a nice 2,004,840 mph. Thanks. It will have a zoo, laser system, and a schizophrenic clover farm storage kit. THIS WONDERFUL space station will be launched around 2666 A.D. I will still be alive.

 yeah.

Uncle

This post is about my uncle. I am only doing this, because I can't lie to Taylor. I told him I would do a post on my uncle, so I must. (actually I was planning before my promise)

Here goes: My uncle has lived or journeyed in over 102 countries. He has his black belt (got it when he was 10) and is a professional Barber. He speaks Chinese and English and married a Filipino woman. He owns a sword and bit a muggers finger off. Here's him in Sao Paulo, Brazil:

Thanks.

He is very amazing. I love him. If you can guess his name in two guesses (as a comment on the blog) I will give you a silver dollar.

¡ Updates. PART 5¼ !

Like my fancy title? It has the Spanish exclamations and the ¼ sign even though I was going to do ½.
¡Aye!
Anyway. I'm creating this post for updates and brain damage purposes.
So here are the blog updates: The word of the week has changed to: "The Word of every single time I get on the Blog."
I also created a new page (see above the posts right next to the title) the page is meant for you so that you can see the blog updates without me having to tell you on a post. So go check it out right after you finish reading this blog so I don't have to type anymore crap.

NOW FOR THE REAL HOOGIES!!!

Questions for you (answer as a comment)

Q: Do you read the entire post whenever I make one?

Q: Why not?

Just kidding, I have faith in you guys (and those exeptional gals out there *including Pakistan*)

Now this: I over use colons don't I? ANSWER: yes: : : : : : : : : :   k: mart:  (see below and above):

I also have brain damage  I GOT IT FOR FREE!

I also lie to much. Now this is why I want you to read my randomized posts: Although my posts and full of random crud and random repititions and random crud, they do have some meaning in them. Read "ADS" several times and you will find much truth. Kind of. No actually it's really true this time. You just have to explore my mind. (see left)
Get to know my posts, and you may understand me. If you say "But I do understand him!" Then you don't. See? When you can email me and tell me what my next post will be on. THAT'S WHEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ME! Even though if you were right I'll change it.

2 parts II (twopartstwo) ? TPT? whatever...

PART ONE: notice: I changed quote of the week to word of the week. (SEE TOP LEFT OF THE BLOG) Thanks to Mr. Davidson, (Taylor's dad) I now have that. It was his idea. The words will be pretty cool although almost every single on will be made up.

PART TWO: click each one of these: They're awesome!
Mutated dog

Spinach Fungus

Spider-man Enemies

Bass Guitars and

Texas Hold-em Massacre

HOW'D YOU LIKE THAT? Just kidding... twice. Just kidding to the eleventh power. I really have nothing importantly random to write about. SO INSTEAD I'LL DRAW A PICTURE!

and another!

YES! Dont ask me about this picture:

ADS

I hate ads, I can't resist making fun of them. I hate the ones that say: Buy one, get one free.  or Buy one and get a second for half price. I mean common! Buy a hermit crab to get one free! Buy a machete to get the second for half price! SO WHAT? What's the big deal? I mean, what about my ads? They are sure to work because they grab your attention. Has this ever been tried?

SEE? I'm sure to sell hundreds of machetes a day! I also hate those commercials with women-singing jingles. ♪ les-olsen company! ♫

Mine would work a lot better: ♫ les-εταιρεία Olsen! (hard rock male voice with Russian accent)

This is spoken in Greek... and it catches their attention! I also hate those ads that take forever to talk about, they are seriously like... 4 minutes long. I would just do a single word. Let's say you're selling, a new invention called "Firepod". You don't say: "The firepod has over 1,000 uses in twelve states! It looks really nice and my kids love it!" 

You say: "FIREPOD!" (screaming and a picture of the firepod). Then they search it and read everything on it instead of just hearing what they did on T.V.

TOTAL TIME: 2.6 seconds.

Pretty cool huh? I also hate redundant commercials. JUST $9.99, JUST $9.99! or CALL US AT 1-800-555-Hung, that's: 1-800-555-HUNG! AUGHH!

It's annoying! It's ANNOYING! JUST ANNOYING! I also hate commercials where they don't even make sense in what they are saying, this wouldn't even be a problem if they just made it one word:

Our new Tibotubor 500 is such a new experience for our heightened costumers. They will love our newest nanotoxidation technology helping them synthesize new biomaterials. The nanometer of 1:40 of our one dimension quantum mechanics and device physics helps you engineer with abalone shell with perfect elastomers and allografting. Your calcium regeneration will be woven amazingly into the DNA phosphate. It works in the Lebesgue form and was partially developed by the famous Hausdorff running with finite non-integers... BLAH BLAH BLAH.

You might as well talk about cubed-bunnies with Head Palm tree growths and Batcave stomachs and Hogwarted shoulders...

THE END

THE END... thanks for listening to me. (sarcasm)

How to Torture Hermit Crabs

I seriously thought about putting this on WikiHow, but I was afraid I'd get arrested for animal cruelty:

Idea 1: Put the hermit crab in a hamster ball. After it's in a hamster ball, you can either give it to a baby, or flush it down a toilet, it doesn't matter which.

Idea 2: Tie the hermit crab to a pencil (using yarn), put it back underwater where it belongs.

Idea 3: Put the crab in a tuba, then play it.

Idea 4: Carry the hermit crab around with you wherever you go, in your pocket!

Idea 5: Feed it nothing but potato peels and/or lettuce. It may not eat these items, so be careful.

like my art? Click this picture for a free hermit crab! JK

Pretty cool huh? I actually don't have a hermit crab so I haven't actually done any of these...

Two-parts...

PART # 1: I finally finished my book! It's about birds and platypussen. Um, platypi. Platypuses? Platies? Anyway... Here's more info on the book... THIS IS NOT A JOKE: http://abouttheauthor.yolasite.com/
THEN... you can buy this 600 page book for $5.00! NO TAX! buy it here: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=obsidian+birds

PART # 2: YOU like my poems, huh?





Click this picture for a free T-shirt!





WELL! I've had an inspiration. You know the poem: Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

Well, this poem has inspired me to write several of my own:



Fuzzy Wuzzy was a deer, Fuzzy Wuzzy drank some beer, Fuzzy Wuzzy now thinks pretty fuzzy.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a hare, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very Fuzzy was he?

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a chair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, of course not! He was a chair!

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a snail, Fuzzy Wuzzy is a weird name for a snail.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a peach, not an apricot, a peach. Peaches are Fuzzy Wuzzy!

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a man, Fuzzy Wuzzy invented pants, Fuzzy Wuzzy got rich quick...

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a science teacher in Spain, Fuzzy Wuzzy he got rich quick, Fuzzy Wuzzy died.

Fuzzy Wuzzy.

Pretty good huh?

Schizophrenic clover farms.

This is more info on schizophrenic clovers, living in farms. If you haven't read my comment on the post: Huh?

I Suggest you read my comment first...

A schizophrenic clover is a clover that goes through phases of emotional blunting, intellectual deterioration, social isolation, disorganized speech and behavior, delusions, and hallucinations. It usually goes through each of these twice or more a day. The most common of these acts are the hallucinations. Just yesterday, one of my friends, a clover named Trifolium, told me that he had a pet fireball that he could play chess with. I was so surprised that I fell off my massage chair. Every day after that, Trifolium pretended he was a ninja, even though he thought he really was. I finally called the authorities (Schizophrenic Plant Authorities: aka SPA) and had them take poor Trifolium and put him in a farm. I cried for several days.

         I was so distressed, I looked up things about schizophrenic clovers. I found out that half the population of clovers were schizophrenic. I also found out that when clovers were found with Dementia Praecox (schizophrenia) they were always placed into a farm.

A clover farm is just like an ant farm, except for that instead of ants inside, there's a clover. After the clover was in a farm, all signs of disorganized speech and emotional blunting, disappear. Sadly, delusions and hallucinations go way up, off the charts. I also found out that clovers with schizophrenia were contagious to humans. I was then really worried that Trifolium had infected me.

        I then looked up the uses of a schizophrenic clover farm. I was surprised when I read what they were used for: Blowing up doors. This was only limited to locked doors that were trapping you in a room. It had been discovered only one year before, when a young schoolboy threw a well treated clover farm at a locked ISS door. This leads to the fact that only well treated clovers explode.

       This is because when pleased, a clover produces C6H12O6(KNO3)

(KNO3) is gunpowder. When thrown, the glucose gunpowder ignites and explodes on contact of a locked door. This somehow defies the laws of explosive physics.

Minecraft

There's a fun game I like to play. It's called MINECRAFT. Minecraft is a really fun game. Believe it. I changed my look, so I am now a zombie pigman. (see below)

HERES A BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF THE GAME: you level up by mining better ores, you defend your home with swords and bows. Zombies kill you. THE END.

HERES A MORE EXPLANATORY DESCRIPTION: You mine blocks and build a home. Zombies, creepers, skeletons, and spiders try to kill you. (and some other monsters) You kill them first. THE END.

PICS:



Me, a cow, and sheep.

Me, and a cave.

I'm hot. (lava)

It snowed.



ANOTHER ME ABOUT TO COMMIT SUICIDE BY FALLING SEVERAL STORIES.

THE GRAPHICS ARE SORT-OF BAD ON PURPOSE.

Types

 So, I've figured that there are several types of people. IN JUNIOR HIGH and the world. BUT, I'm talking about Junior High school. So here you are:

1. Baddies: People who swear and are inappropriate at all times. In language and in thought. HOW TO IDENTIFY THEM: They can't say a sentence without a bad word or inappropriate word in it.
2. Nerds: This isn't necessarily nerds. If that makes sense. They just are kinda like a nerd. HOW TO IDENTIFY THEM: Instead of socializing during lunch, they read books. They also have "A"s in every class even though they read during the entire class.
3. Jocks: They can play every sport and attract the opposite gender for some reason. If they are female, they are usually cheerleaders. HOW TO IDENTIFY THEM: They are highly competitive and always other jocks around them. If they get in a fight, it's with another jock.
4. Mixes: They are a mix between two or more types. HOW TO IDENTIFY THEM: They act like types put together. (NOTE: this is the most common type)
5. Shybies: They are like Nerds, except they don't read and they have bad grades, this doesn't mean they don't have friends. HOW TO IDENTIFY THEM: Look for them, they just sit there.
6. Friendly: They are really friendly and have lots of friends. They enjoy humor and they don't think bad of themselves. HOW TO IDENTIFY THEM: They have lots of friends. They take up more than one table at lunch. They become friends with you or all your friends (if they become friends with your friends you soon become a Shybie, unless you make friends with them too.)
7. Weirdos: They collect spoons ( I have hundreds), make blogs about random things, are different than most people (like they've never gone skiing, don't know how to text, and don't watch TV), they enjoy playing pranks and telling jokes. They are usually become the artists or authors of the school. HOW TO IDENTIFY THEM: Observe them, you will be able to tell. (this is my favorite type).

Huh?

I have some questions: AND PLEASE ANSWER TRUTHFULLY!
#1: If you were in a potato sack, what would you do?
#2: If you were in a burning potato sack, what would you do?
#3: If you were trapped in a burning potato sack tied 10 stories above a Pennsylvanian man, what would you do?
#4: If you were trapped in a burning potato sack tied 10 stories above a Pennsylvanian man and you had to go number one really bad, what would you do?
#5 If you were trapped in a burning potato sack tied 10 stories above a Pennsylvanian man and you had to go number one really bad while your legs were bleeding badly from a torture treatment a few minutes ago by a psychotic leopard-man, what would you do?
#6 What is a schizophrenic clover farm and how is it used?

What's new?

SPOONS! Spoon what's new! Spoons are the coolest invention besides sporks. Sadly, you can't put plastic sporks in your eyes. But you can with spoons! The only invention that comes close to spoons are socks. 

SPOONS!

I told you! You can wear spoons. And you can wear socks. You can eat with spoons. You can unravel socks into string. You can sharpen spoons and use them as weapons. You cannot sharpen a sock and use it as a weapon. You can hold things in spoons. You can hold things in socks. Spoons don't smell when you wear them. Socks smell when you wear them. You can dip spoons in ink and use them as a writing utensil. You can dip socks in ink and slap someone with it. You can throw spoons. You can throw socks. You can melt spoons. You cannot melt socks, but you can light them on fire sometimes. You can get spoons for free. You cannot get socks for free, usually. You can clean your toenails with spoons. You can keep your feet warm with socks. You can clean your fingernails with spoons. You can wear socks on your arms and hands for a type of glove.

SPOONS ARE BETTER!

What was I talking about? Oh yes, Dragon Ball Z. (See below)Wow.

So, It is this way. Tacos. HERE IS SOME POEMS I WROTE:

When ever I feel, the touch of a lily pad. Or look at the reddish pumpkin. I smell all the wonderful bakerfied things. (Bakerfied = Baked) And I dance jollily with a prancing penguin. I do the macaroni, and it does the Fox-crouch. It stampedes, I leap, but too late.

I get trampled by a stampeding penguin.

It tramples again. I trampoline.

I split off from the light-side.

I join the Extreme leftists.

I get attacked by fried dominoes.

I survive and betray my clan of tomato suckers.

They find out, and hire some Hessians to hunt me down.

I pay the Hessians to attack a baby alligator instead.

I grow a mustache. I grow another, and another, until my jar is full.

I write a pony, and ride an essay. I become vane on a weather vain.

I disgust a problem. And discussed filled my soul.

I vomited my pet volcano. I used some toiletpaper to make a tepee.

THE END

POEM #2

I

am

too

calm

for my

tongue

POEM #3

"THANK YOU"

I said to my teacher one day.

"YOUR WELCOME"

She answered as if thats all she could say.

"YOUR RUDE"

I said in a sarcastic voice.

"I"LL SEND YOU TO ISS"

Like she gave me a choice.

"NO!"

I refused, with command in my speech.

"LEAVE MY ROOM"

Was her little preach.

I left, and I bawled, and I banged on the door.

But, for all I know, she couldn't hear any more.

I knelt, and I fell, I was as good as dead.

I kept crying 'til I had no tears in my head.

Why was this happening to me? Were my thoughts.

All of the kids in my class were little bratty snots.

My teacher finally let me in the room.

The entire place was as quiet as a tomb.

I gasped, and I giggled, and I rolled on the ground.

Everyone stared, no one made a sound.

I stopped, and I sat, and I did nothing more.

I guess nobody really rolled on the floor.

I suddenly had amnesia and a pain.

I screamed a long verb, I became insane!

HUGHH! HUGHH!

Watch me destroy randomness with a little bit of normality!!!!

(No Comment)

Okay... You should take a look.

My wiki site. It is cool. And you can search some random stuff like... Humungous weakling or Inflamboyounto... stuff like that.

A short story

Ham!

What a life.

Life is more random than you think. Did you know that every single second life generates something random. Just barely it went : "If I get generate a # 1-200,000 and I get a 23 I will make a emerald land on this fence near Denver."
    "DANG! I got 98,251!" Oh well now if I get a 4 out of 200,000. I will make..." BLAH BLAH BLAH! Do you know what chance it is that you would get a single digit out of 200,000? Let's see I'll go to a random # generator and make it 1-200,000 and push generate 10 times:
75522
18793
53193
191691
16618
78428
187336
132059
112383
95978

OH I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T EVEN MAKE IT TO 4 DIGITS, let alone 2, or 1 digit. SO, chance is, that if you are near Denver you will have to wait millions of days to get that emerald. BUT! ANOTHER FACT OF LIFE! What is the chance that it will be that exact latitude/longitude you are at or for it to even be gem and not something else entirely random, such as you generate a random number out of 5,000,000 and each # represents a different object? The latitude/longitude the emerald would fall even if life got 23 out of a 200,000 would NOT be even near DENVER! LET ALONE ANY OTHER PLACE YOU WERE WAITING FOR YOUR GEM! Therefore it is virtually impossible for this to happen. Especially to you! Hmmm. For any gem to land next to you would be to get a 1 out of a 4,000,000,000 chance. Oh! AND AGAIN! I'M SORRY LIFE GOT A 51,482,153!

Time and Flavorful Sea-Related Softballs

         Sadly, I haven't been random lately... So I decided to create a flavorful ocean softball. I first grabbed a small basketball that looked like a softball and wrapped it in construction paper. I then sprayed the entire thing with blue spray paint. But then of course, I could not sell it because of my unholy employment problem.

So, what did I do? NOTHING.... So sad...

You may say I'm crazy, but I'm not. I have serious mental, social, and psychological problems. DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME. It's not nice.

Back to the Story:

After I decided I couldn't sell this wonderful modern masterpiece. I frowned, why could I not sell it? After all those other pictures in the museums look like random blots and colors are famous. Why not my FOS? (flavorful ocean softball) Aurrgh! I can make splotches too you know!SEE? I'm FAMOUS NOW TOO! ANYONE CAN DO THIS? WHOM CAN'T? hughg ha! (huh-howg-ha)

Now don't get me wrong Picasso is very interesting, but people can do stuff like this any time.EASY PEASY!

No problemo sheesh. (I wish I had shoulders like that.) I could stab something. >

I'm so sorry. Especially for the violence towards little japanese-style orbs. :( C-U-later... WHAT!

4 Haikus

1. Nuclear Radiation

 A big explosion
 Fallout is left all over
 get Geiger Counters

2. Snails

 Slippery Slimy
 A delicacy in France
 Eat them up they're good

3. Haiku

 Read them and write them
 They all make sense but not mine
 They don't rhyme ever

4. Ancients of Ooga

 Watch out ooganis
 The boolis are coming here
 Barf inventory

Ooga

The basic plot is that the Ooganis have been captured by an evil race of bull things called "boolis". The whole premise of this game is to start a revolt and resurrect all of the dead cheifs. You get to play seven different tribes of Ooganis, each with separate powers to make the experience more fun. One of the cool things about this game is the inventory system. You pick it up, put it in your mouth, and when needed puke it up for further use.

Why this is here.

You are all wondering, "Why does this blog even exist?" And the answer is... DOES IT EXIST?  The answer to the answer is probably it exists but I'm not to sure. This entire blog is so you read and post stuff about randomness. Yes. You can bring out your inner self and say: "HA, Now I can actually post and share things about my pet snail and my friend named Hoobert without getting embarrassed." I created this post just for you. You can place anything you like on it. Shopping lists, stories about wagons, comics... it's all for you.