November 30, 2010

How to Torture Hermit Crabs

I seriously thought about putting this on WikiHow, but I was afraid I'd get arrested for animal cruelty:

Idea 1: Put the hermit crab in a hamster ball. After it's in a hamster ball, you can either give it to a baby, or flush it down a toilet, it doesn't matter which.

Idea 2: Tie the hermit crab to a pencil (using yarn), put it back underwater where it belongs.

Idea 3: Put the crab in a tuba, then play it.

Idea 4: Carry the hermit crab around with you wherever you go, in your pocket!

Idea 5: Feed it nothing but potato peels and/or lettuce. It may not eat these items, so be careful.


like my art? Click this picture for a free hermit crab! JK
Pretty cool huh? I actually don't have a hermit crab so I haven't actually done any of these...

November 29, 2010

Two-parts...

PART # 1: I finally finished my book! It's about birds and platypussen. Um, platypi. Platypuses? Platies? Anyway... Here's more info on the book... THIS IS NOT A JOKE: http://abouttheauthor.yolasite.com/
THEN... you can buy this 600 page book for $5.00! NO TAX! buy it here: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=obsidian+birds

PART # 2: YOU like my poems, huh?


Click this picture for a free T-shirt!


WELL! I've had an inspiration. You know the poem: Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?
Well, this poem has inspired me to write several of my own:

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a deer, Fuzzy Wuzzy drank some beer, Fuzzy Wuzzy now thinks pretty fuzzy.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a hare, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very Fuzzy was he?

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a chair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, of course not! He was a chair!

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a snail, Fuzzy Wuzzy is a weird name for a snail.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a peach, not an apricot, a peach. Peaches are Fuzzy Wuzzy!

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a man, Fuzzy Wuzzy invented pants, Fuzzy Wuzzy got rich quick...

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a science teacher in Spain, Fuzzy Wuzzy he got rich quick, Fuzzy Wuzzy died.

Fuzzy Wuzzy.

Pretty good huh?

November 24, 2010

Schizophrenic clover farms.

This is more info on schizophrenic clovers, living in farms. If you haven't read my comment on the post: Huh?
I Suggest you read my comment first...
A schizophrenic clover is a clover that goes through phases of emotional blunting, intellectual deterioration, social isolation, disorganized speech and behavior, delusions, and hallucinations. It usually goes through each of these twice or more a day. The most common of these acts are the hallucinations. Just yesterday, one of my friends, a clover named Trifolium, told me that he had a pet fireball that he could play chess with. I was so surprised that I fell off my massage chair. Every day after that, Trifolium pretended he was a ninja, even though he thought he really was. I finally called the authorities (Schizophrenic Plant Authorities: aka SPA) and had them take poor Trifolium and put him in a farm. I cried for several days.
         I was so distressed, I looked up things about schizophrenic clovers. I found out that half the population of clovers were schizophrenic. I also found out that when clovers were found with Dementia Praecox (schizophrenia) they were always placed into a farm.
A clover farm is just like an ant farm, except for that instead of ants inside, there's a clover. After the clover was in a farm, all signs of disorganized speech and emotional blunting, disappear. Sadly, delusions and hallucinations go way up, off the charts. I also found out that clovers with schizophrenia were contagious to humans. I was then really worried that Trifolium had infected me.
        I then looked up the uses of a schizophrenic clover farm. I was surprised when I read what they were used for: Blowing up doors. This was only limited to locked doors that were trapping you in a room. It had been discovered only one year before, when a young schoolboy threw a well treated clover farm at a locked ISS door. This leads to the fact that only well treated clovers explode.
       This is because when pleased, a clover produces C6H12O6(KNO3)
(KNO3) is gunpowder. When thrown, the glucose gunpowder ignites and explodes on contact of a locked door. This somehow defies the laws of explosive physics.

November 16, 2010

Minecraft

There's a fun game I like to play. It's called MINECRAFT. Minecraft is a really fun game. Believe it. I changed my look, so I am now a zombie pigman. (see below)
HERES A BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF THE GAME: you level up by mining better ores, you defend your home with swords and bows. Zombies kill you. THE END.

HERES A MORE EXPLANATORY DESCRIPTION: You mine blocks and build a home. Zombies, creepers, skeletons, and spiders try to kill you. (and some other monsters) You kill them first. THE END.
PICS:

Me, a cow, and sheep.

Me, and a cave.

I'm hot. (lava)

It snowed.

ANOTHER ME ABOUT TO COMMIT SUICIDE BY FALLING SEVERAL STORIES.
THE GRAPHICS ARE SORT-OF BAD ON PURPOSE.