Anger

I know, I know, you're mad at me for not posting something about Christmas, and I still won't, that's because I'm Jewish. Now this may cause more anger among you, but yes I don't celebrate Christmas, and I don't believe in Santa Claus. So, go ahead and release your anger, but do it in a therapy session please.
Okay now I feel bad, and it isn't because of indigestion or food poisoning, it's because I lied too you. Now don't think I am related to Satan or something, because I'm not, but lying is good for you. Yes, in small amounts that is, I'm not saying it's okay to fib all the time, but its only bad if you get addicted to it. Just like marijuana. I will make this analogy for you: Lying is like a douse of Mentsuyu on your fish. It may taste good, and give you good nutrients, but eating too much of it on you Japanese cuisine, can cause an unhealthy liver and may lead to chronic dyslexia, because it contains alcohol. I strongly suggest to stop using Japanese sauces.
erm.

Well, back to Christmas,
I got some cool, stuff. Not telling you what, you'll probably figure it out soon enough. (hint: its not Mentsuyu)
but it's a little longer than a yard, and it cost a ton of money, and you have to be really talented to use it.

So hope you had a Merry Christmas, and i'll post again later.

Translation

My brother found this online, originally written in Portuguese, translated into English, thought it was really funny.

GUIDES
The hiring of guides and porters is mandatory. As we have no use complaining to consider this as a great opportunity to meet local people, which is very friendly. Tipping is a mandatory practice in Tanzania, so if you plan to go to Kili get ready to fork over a $ 50.00 for the guide and the porters.
Particularly recommend taking some shirts of the Brazilian team, because people love our football. They know all the names of our players. Our shirt is like a free pass in many places and win it is an honor for them. Walking down the street with this shirt makes you feel like a celebrity in town.
We recommend that the expedition is engaged in Moshi, because in Arusha, a town a little bigger, everything is more expensive. Do not bother to find the companies, because they find you everywhere as long as you arrive at the airport until you can not take it anymore. Beware of these proposals, because we found some people who lost their money.
The guide of the expedition is a fantastic person and very helpful. Has climbed Kilimanjaro and Mount Meru all the way hundreds of times and speaks English very well, so would recommend it with great pride.

Not quite sure what its about, but I think...  HA HA HA HA HA... And that's about it. Full of run on sentences and needing revised fragments to the MAX.

I'm not making fun of the guy who wrote this, but of Google translate, which is where we translated it from. Maybe they should spend a little more money on their translator, because it may cause some confusion, and already has.

Wind Torn

I can't believe all the damage here in Davis County, Utah. It completely blows my mind what I've seen. A strong wind here in Layton hit, averaging about 85 mph, tearing apart fences, tipping over semi-trucks, and breaking windows. All the trees next to my house tipped over and my fence is pretty much gone.
But not as bad as other places in the neighborhood, where trees crushed cars and fences. A trailer was thrown into a house. So here's some pictures of the doom of my beloved fence.

Yah, so here's a predicament. The wheelbarrows are crushed under a fence and a tree.

Here the fence ripped out some of our wiring, hmmm, I think we have insurance.

You can't see it in this picture but our drain pipe up higher is hanging from our house and its crushed.

It also tore our trampoline apart. No more safe jumping on that thing.

Breakdancin

I'm learning how to break dance. Yes, I am. Next year my highschool's musical is Footloose. And that means I have to learn how to breakdance; they go hand in hand.

It's a nice relationship but I'm missing.

Yay. I'm sixteen years old...
Yay.
Now to the exciting stuff.
This really strange thing happened. I was waiting for a ride home, just sitting there like most people sit. And I was singing because I was happy like normal. And I was sitting and singing and I was happy. I probably looked like this:

And I was singing and singing and then... WHAM out of the 4th dimension I fall asleep.

So I'm asleep at the tree, which is probably illegal. And then the rest of my life was ruined by a dream, but I'm not going tell you what it was. But I will draw a picture.

It was horrifying and I just kinda made the volcanoes up.

But I learned an important lesson that day. LIFE IS IMPORTANT because anyone could get attacked any second by anything. You should treat life like each day could be your last because something is hungry.
So I wrote more of my famous poetry about this:

     When doing nothing, nothing is done
    But somone or something else is doing something

   For you

 Because they are hungry.

Gettin it done, for your own life

Cause you can get ahead and SURVIVE



Tailored

Hallelujah! ! ! My clothes fit. Finally Tailored.
Yah, it's hard to find the right size of clothes when they don't sell your size in stores. I used to look like an idiot, blundering around in the wrong size of clothes.

But now I have nice clothes, that are actually special just for my body, and I look nice compared to before. (Although I still probably looked nice as an idiot.)
For once I'm not making fun of anything other than myself and the store brand jerks who believe in Monosiesm (one size fits all). Which is a really stupid religeon if you ask me.
But back to clothes: My new fittings do not matter.
I bet now that I have them, I'm going to grow a couple inches in 4 directions and my tailored clothes are going to end up on my little brother. And then he'll spill mustard on them.

Pillows

I hate pillows. I can't sleep on them, but yet I wake up on them. I mean.... COMMON!

It's a piece of fluff wrapped in cloth, and ever wondered why pillows get less fluffy the longer you sleep on them? It's because their fill is less then 300 hundred fill and there is not polyester core. Unless you have a one hundred dollar pillow, its gonna go flat.
Another thing I hate is that they turn yellow, even after washing they are still yellow. (I also hate how every different type of pillow has to be washed different.) They turn yellow because of your sweat or sometimes drool, but hopefully not. And another reason it turns yellow is oxidation. WHICH IS STUPID... what kind of company makes a product that breaks down in oxygen? Those idiots.
Any way... here's cool stuff: if you sleep on a yellow pillow, you are more likely to get acne. So that's why my face has been purified. Okay nevermind, I'm confusing myself.

Enough of my ranting. Have fun sleeping.

Merpeople

I have so many questions about the supposedly non-existent breed of fish humans. Most people don't believe in the merfolk, but I do... O_O

Well all of the ocean just hasn't been discovered so it's possible okay?
Have they found the crash of the Titanic? No... they haven't, and they haven't found Atlantis either; which is where mermaids and mermen live in harmony with each other.
I want to grow up to be a mermologist, a subcategory of marine biology. I will find Atlantis and record their history for the world to see. I will learn their language and make peace with them. I will make a civil war of merfolk break out. I will bring never before heard of diseases into the depths of the underwater city and plague them all.

I thought the job sounded fun.

High School

Every drama story you have ever read, but with a plot twist. Every nightmare created by sleeping Nazis. Every unimportant moment in history... COMES TO NOW . . .
HIGH SCHOOL! ! !Cheer for it or wet yourself... it's your choice... but whatever you do, remember this one thing:
You're wrong.
High School is different than you expect. The teachers and students are just plain crazy. All those stories you've made up or gossiped on; about your "weird" teachers... are just the foam you blow off your shampoo before massaging it into your hair. Overestimating your teachers in High school could save your life. Literally.

Well, I'm not saying High school is even bad or scary, you may just have interpreted me wrong. It's not some crumbling place next to a cliff where they teach you how to become Lord Voldemort, or some other black necromancer. It would only be scary to anyone with a certain digestive rate such as mine. Or could be scary to a Kindergartner, which shouldn't happen, because Kindergartners go to Kindergarten...

So if you are having problems every day, stumbling into that endless tunnel of doom and intellectual advantages, you might just want to tell yourself to stop moaning and learn to tie your shoe.

The worst part about High school is actually lunch; because you get hungry and eat your lunch before you are even out of the line, and then you have to wait for friends to finish their lunch, and by the time they are done you are hungry again.

Another bad part is getting lost. They label the door numbers so you can find your class, but they don't realize how stupid that is... reading numbers means you have to COUNT, and how are you supposed to count? ? ? You're just in High school for puddings sake! ! !

You end up wandering the hall way with a friend low in social status. (not saying that you are low in social status, because I'm not even your friend.)

Just Kidding

When you finally find your class, it's over and you have to get to your next class, only finding out... you forgot your locker combination.You go to the office and they write everything you need to know on your hand...
          Name
          Age

          Locker Combination

          and any personal diseases they may have given you during the wait in line.

In conclusion, I must say that I like high school and my teachers. You make new friends, and new enemies, and new mistakes. But in turn, everything turns out well after you get a hang of things. You find your classes without a schedule, you eat lunch in normal time frames, and you get D's in math. Everything is normal....

There was a... squid

I went to a Honda Dealer (I really like Honda) and I was trying out all their cars. Which was fun. Then I tried out all their helicopters and submarines too. I lost a submarine though, and now I have to pay for it! ! ! It wasn't even my fault. It was a freakin SQUID ! ! ! I swear I did nothing! ! ! And now I have to pay an outrageous fee because a stupid sandwich filling destroyed a nuclear sub!
Stupid Calamari

uʍop-ǝpısdn ǝdʎʇ I

˙llǝʍ ɥO
˙ʇou ʎlqɐqoɹԀ
˙ǝlqıssod sı sıɥʇ ɟı ʍouʞ uǝʌǝ ʇ,uop I
˙ɹǝʌǝ ˙ʇ,uop ʎǝɥʇ ɥɔıɥM ˙ʇı pɐǝɹ ʎllɐnʇɔɐ ʎǝɥʇ ɟı ǝɯıʇ s,ʎpoqʎɹǝʌǝ sǝʇsɐʍ ʇI ˙sıɥʇ ǝʞıl ƃuıdʎʇ ǝʌol I

Me Versus an Indescribable Foe!

Rule number 1: If your back tickles, kill the mosquito, before it kills you.

Me Versus an Indescribable Foe!

It all started out after I got a haircut. I was in the bathroom checking out my new hairdo when I saw a wavy form outside the window. I couldn't really see what it was because of the stupid blotted blue glass they use in restrooms. I hurried and dried my hair and jumped through the window to the recently mowed yard below. Wait! Revise: I hurried and dried the window and jumped through my yard below to the recently mowed hair.
I checked under all my blue spruces in my yard and around every lawn dart. But there was nothing that could have made such a big moving figure on the lawn.
"what the gnome?" I thought to myself. And then I was like: "But what if it dug a hole and got away?" And sure enough I found a huge 12 by 8 hole dug in the garden right where I had just planted a Cilantro Plant. "Right." I said.
I grabbed a flashlight and a pocketknife and jumped into the hole. Which was stupid. I forgot that its possible to dig down into the bedrock and not just sideways...
I estimated I fell for about 41 seconds, which ended up me landing 230 feet deep in a pool of muddy water. Immediately I was plunged in darkness when my flashlight sank to the bottom of the water tunnel. I swam around, stunned and in shock for a while. I regained my senses and swam to the edges of the hole trying to find a way out of this darkened dismal mud hole. I found nothing but rock.
"Oh crap." I said, swimming another circle to recheck.
I yelled for help and screamed but nothing.
I started panicking and kicked, but my foot didn't kick the wall, it kept going and I busted my hip on the edge of an underwater tunnel.
I didn't know If that went to anywhere, but I might have a chance of escaping if I swam down there. I took the deepest biggest breath ever in the History of Houdini.
I dove and swam through the hole, and I swam and swam and swam, and the tunnel curved up! And there was air! But it was still dark. but the tunnel walls weren't vertical and I climbed out onto a muddy service that I couldn't see.
I started my gradual accent upwards. Sloshing through who knows what in my white golf shoes.
And I finally saw light! I rushed towards it and... I was in a cave lit by a lantern sitting on a bucket. And that's all. No exit. Nobody.
I opened the bucket. It was full of iron bars each 3 feet long.
Then I had an idea. But I never got the chance cause I hand grabbed me and shoved me into the wall.
I was spun around and faced a large man with bushy facial features.
"What?" I said.
"I didn't say nothing." He growled.
"But why are you hurting me into the wall?"
"... You're in my cave."
"Okay bye." And I raced for the door, but I was still pinned on the wall, so I didn't get very far.
"Crap." I said and tried again, but I didn't get any farther.
I finally had to kill the man. REVISE: I finally bit the man and he let me go for a second and then charged me in his bold outrage of having teeth marks in his hairy knuckles. I dodged and he slammed into the wall. A huge portion of the wall collapsed and buried the man, so only his leather boots were sticking out.
Now since I was free. I reached into the bucket and pulled one of the bars out. I bent it, and then heated it in the lanternand stopped when it was white hot, and I scraped the edge off with my knife until it was sharp. I stuck the metal into the mud to cool. I repeated this until I had 4 sharp iron bars. I ripped my shirt and tied 2 of these to my shoes. The other 2 I had in my hands. I swam to the original hole and started climbing. It was tough work but I eventually made it to the top and pulled myself out into my garden. heavy breathing
I got off my flattened tomato plants and went inside.

So this was the day I killed a man in a cave protecting iron bars that were able to melt in a lantern and sharpen with a pocketknife. The iron was FAKE!

Stung

ow
I have never been stung by a bee until now.

I was riding my bike at about 9:00 P.M.  and a hornet flew up my sleeve. I was stung right behind the armpit, on my trapeze muscle.

It didn't hurt as bad as I though it would but it still hurt. There was a couple walking across the street when it stung my and I yelled: "OW, What the?" and stopped my bike and grabbed my shirt's sleeve and shook like crazy freeing the frenzied hornet that was trapped in my 100% cotton arm hole. The couple looked at me and then left the approximate square mile as fast as their little hairless legs could carry them. I just continued on my way.
Then I had to feed some chickens and some rabbits that are bred for eating.

Yawn

Summer





IS





Boring

and Happy 4th of July. Exactly 120 days til my birthday. AKA exactly 4 months. I always know the 4th of July is 120 days to my birthday. :|

When Random is Mixed with Everything

When random is mixed with everything you get a lot of free stuff. But you have to be careful because it can hurt you. Unexplained Expletive explosions easily erupt around earthquakes. These titanic turmoils take time to totter the turf. Finally from four flares, free furnishings, fly forth! Crap, consanant comparing commencement! I didn't mean to alliterate, I swear I'm shamefully sorry! Okay. Let's get some similes out here. WHAT? No. Okay this is dumb. I'm just leaving. I just saved the level and I died but it didn't save really! It lied! gasp
Hey stop swearing. JK I love how you don't swear. Yes, I'm talking to you. I miss you all. Maybe. Yep, I do.

... um
yah yeah. I lost like a page of info I tried to save on this post. So now I can't remember what I typed.
Maybe you can call me at: 801-KIDDINGThis is a rejection hotline. I reject you. JK

so tired...

No Idea

MOST of you have no idea of what real pain is.. So here's a list of the most horrible things imagineable, from BAD to WORST:
10: Losing a your best friend to the Dark Side. When your most favorite person (me) gets converted to the Sith. That has to be bad.
9: When you choke on something. A horrible feeling.
8: When something you've taken over a year to make, is lost or ruined. This hurts really bad, deep down in your tender heart and can cause serious problems.
7: Waking up to a fire alarm. This is so horrible, at this moment when you wake up, your mind goes though 2 million WORST-CASE scenarios and then you scream.
6: Burning to death in your sleep. I'm sure this hasn't ever happened to you.
5: Nothing. This can be extremely frusturating and may cause instant death.
4: Losing your mind. Although this is bad, it can be really fun if you work hard.
3: Christmas Music in the Spring. Not even joking.
2: Starving to death in a Supermarket. This almost happened to me. But my new best friend Darth Vader saved my life.
1: Worst of all: Watching and listening to this all night: http://nyan.cat/
This is torture.

Nothing

Quick Summary

What do you expect from here? Candy? Rose Poems? No... I will give you better...
something unexpected... and less interesting

A quick summary about this blog. "see above"

Okay now what? I have to do a solo in a couple hours and I'm guessing an added 32 min.
But that doesn't concern you, because by the time you read this, I will have already done it. And it will be amazing... I'm so bored. Okay, I guess I'll do homework that isn't actually important.
And here's a random pic for you art fans that always want one:

Friendship

I love my friends. I mean they all are good by themselves, as they are, but when with other friends, they make hilarious pairs. I mean, I crack up all the time when around several people, but when one of thse few is with another, they turn into some of the most comical groups you can imagine.
I laugh so hard.
And my ribs hurt.

Trig and Manga

Cool huh? Yeah, that took me a couple years to figure out. But it was worth it. Because now I know what X is. Cool. Oh wait, I cheated off of my friends homework. DANG.

Okay well, so much for trigonometric functions. I guess the radians aren't so significant.

NOW, to another subject:

HOW TO DRAW... Manga Eyes.

For those who don't know what manga is, its a style of Japanese drawing. Like Dragon Ball Z, or Pokemon or something... So I spent a couple hours drawing this:

Yep... That's manga... See the style in the eye? That's what I will teach you today.

1: Draw the Oval, that will be your eye.

2: Draw a large arch above the eye, but still touching it. And a smaller, thinner arch below. (see above)

3: Fill the Eye in with black, but keep a circle in the top left corner white, and a smaller circle to the bottom right of the first.

4. One curve of the eye will be colored, and is shaped as an arch, but can continue up to the white circles. (see green on above eye)

How to Draw... The Hunchback

This new idea, I may start doing, drawing lessons as some of my posts.... So. Today I'll do the Hunchback. This is how you draw a hunchback

1. Draw the head.
2. Draw the shoulders and one arm. Make the crest of the back, sticking out from almost the top of the head.
3. Draw the shape of his shoes (feet), and legs, and the rest of his torso.
4. Draw in his other arm, and some of his details.
5. Draw his facial details.
6. Color

Tiring Day

I've had a stressful and tiring day, so let me fill your drink to the brink, and I'll tell you truthfully (I'm not lying) all about it...

First I woke up, played about 45 minutes of musical stuff on my guitar and piano and then I went to school singing Pop music. Weee eeee eeeeI typed some answers, and then wrote a couple with a pen. Not a pencil. Then almost immediately, it was second period. I then drew the Circle of Fifths customarily with a pen. Not a pencil. I drew D flat kind of badly but oh well.
Then it suddenly was third period. I painted a Godzilla, made of Papier-mâché. No kidding.
And it quickly changed to fourth period, where I was hungry, and finished a Joseph Smith movie.
And without warning it was fifth period, where I saw about 12 rockets explode again, even though we saw it the day before. But he gave up on his project even though the thirteenth one worked. You have no idea what I'm talking about.

And then I had a blueberry and blackberry parfait, but I stashed my spoons and so I had to eat the fruity yogurt using my Frito corn chips.
Then I was outside with a bent metal bar, and I tried to jump rope with it. But it wasn't a rope, and my ankles got grazed. Both of them. I then napped passively at a 30 degree angle with the warm beady sunshine burning my face.

I then ended up in Science where I did a pre-test. Tick-tock Tick-tock Tick-tock RING
And finally 7th period English, where I chatted online with someone sitting right next to me. Even though yesterday I sent her a mustached shark.
Then I took a detour to the buses, and never arrived and ended up watching myself (fat) sing lullabies while surrounded by animals. My sound quality wasn't too good, and the bird that loved me got ran over by a tree.

While waiting to get home, I was separated symmetrically while on a bench and I sang Lion songs with a kangaroo and a monkey. I then got really excited by a flashing blue arrow. It was hypnotizing, but I got chewed out by a janitor.
I then got a ride home from my gangster friends, and I had to sit next to another gangster. I tried to tell him about some rusty pipes sticking out of the ground, but he wouldn't listen.

I got home, listened to some classical music, while viewing last month on the Internet Explorer. And then I ate some biscuits and showed my little brother some car sing-alongs while the rest of my family celebrated the Cinco De Mayo at an elementary school.
Then I went to my backyard and lost my energy on a trampoline. Came inside and then went back out, to chop some weeds.

That's it. And it was all true. Gasp.

Nothing

I'm not kidding. Nothing
just a psycho evil ball
and that can't dance
so... please help : POEM

If one is to come
and to say goodbye
what is the point?
and what is the why?

If one eats a cone
and the other a knife
which one dies quickest?
who loses their life?

If people are clawing
up a new wall
how many are sane?
how many is all?
Wasn't that poetic?

The effects of DNA

Just because, because what, that's a question so you need a question mark, and that sentence needed a comma, but all of these don't even make sense as one sentence.

And because of the effects of DNA, they started genetically modifying things. Like, uh, carrots. So, they don't grow pointy, like they used too. (That should get the Environmentalists attention)
Now they just grow as little stubby things, that you can fit; like 12 carrots in you pocket. And you can put 10 in your mouth. It's pathetic.
And you can't stab anyone with a bag of carrots. Because it might be empty, and then it just bends.
And they change spiders, to bite people. And they turn into Spider men. And save New York, from nonexistent goblins.
But they might exist if you change the DNA of a... baby rabbit, and mix it's genes with uh... mole rat. And some human traits. And you end up with a goblin.

Dinosauric Nucleic Add-ons. That's DNA. Its what connects our genes with dinosaurs. And sometimes some Aboriginal people get some high doses of DNA and become cannibals. And then they get loose, near your house. And you have to fight them off. With tranquilizers. I am so sorry.

Heliotropes and the like

Sometimes heliotropes are quite bothersome. But aren't we all? Also, I occasionally prepare my speeches in advance, only to find out that no such thing is blothered. Then I said to him, "Peradventure you are departing this mid-evening?" he answered back, "Why rather not? I am but a gentleman." True, how true said the sour kangaroo.

Virus

I had to post this because and Professor T.A Davidson, who has a PhD in virology and works at Harvard, challenged one of my PowerPoint presentations; this presentation was about viruses. So I sent him the PowerPoint, attached with some additional data, and my new malware project.
 (I needed to test it somewhere)
And now his computer screen sounds weird. HAHAHAHAHA!
Of course that's not what my post is on today. At least not that kind of virus. Since, I am a technovirologist, I will talk about the living kind of virus. Because I know less about the infecting kind.
So
I have a virus, it has 3 strands of RNA and 3 virions. It's icosahedral and is slowly destroying my stomach. Luckily its not a norovirus. THE END.

Take that...
And don't tap on the glass, or I'll bite your fingers off.

Scratch

I have been pondering the question, "Why do you have a scratch on your face?"
It's not like I actually have a scratch on my face... but it's still a question I need to answer.
So I came up with a few answers.
Note: ( Q always means "Why do you have a scratch on your face?")

Q:
A: Never mind. But remember; freight trains move faster then humans.

Q:
A: You tell me, you're the one that tipped the building over.

Q:
A: Well, I didn't know that Wolverine could swing so hard.

Q:
A: Well, I was shaving, and my chainsaw slipped.

Q:
A: Because the stupid jerk, sped up instead of slowing down!

Q:
A: Well that's what happens when you hold a grenade too close to your face.

Q:
A: Someone sharpened the piano keys!

Q:
A: I don't know! I was asleep when the ninjas attacked.

              Do you like these. I guess they are kinda stupid answers, since nobody believes the truth now-a-days. But they could be much worse.
Thanks for standing up for my face. It's always better then standing on my face.
That can leave some serious facial scars. In the shape of Nike symbols. Which is better than lightning scars on your forehead.
             Sorry, I got off topic again.

Funny

I haven't posted forever! Which is like... a long time. Since I posted almost close to the day next to the day before yesterday.
But I just had to share this:

"I like going to the park and watching the children run around because they don't know I'm using blanks."

It's a quote by Emo Phillips (whoever that is) and I think it's hilarious! If you get it...
It's okay to laugh... it gives you brain cells. Actually it only gives you endorphins... so when laughing, you get linked with the activation of the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, and in the hypothalamus, endorphins are produced....
(say ventromedial prefrontal cortex 5x fast)
Laughing is also really healthy, when the beta-endorphins are produced they stimulate your endothelial surface, which then releases nitric oxide, which dilates your blood vessels. Nitric oxide also has some other cardioprotective properties, like reduction of inflammation and decreased platelet aggregation. So laughing makes you think clearer, removes small blood clots, and stops tumors by controlling platelets.

Sorry, getting a little to scientific... but heed my words, that stuff above is true.

Duet

I've been working on my guitar and vocals. For our school Talent Show on April 12th. I'm singing a duet. Wish us luck. So I have written a poem on it. Because you love my poems.

This is just to say:

I have sung
a duet
with the neighbor
down hill

And which
we were planning
to do
for the Talent Show

Listen to us
it was amazing
so pure
and so harmonic

Good? I think so. Whoa...
Is that how you spell whoa?
It passes the spell check. So I guess.

Now, I have everything important off my mind. So now I can bug you with the minor details of my duet.
1st- My duet partner can't speak English.... So we have a very minor problem there. (Just Kidding)
2nd- Tryouts are tomorrow.
3rd- My guitar is infested with termites.
4th- My list isn't even close to the end.

Okay here's my illustration. Since I always have an illustration.

Nov. 3

Sorry: I just had to write this down somewhere.

November 3rd is my birthday. - Notes: This day makes me happy.
Because of my birthday I am 15. - Notes: I need to get my Driver's permit
15 is a magical number. - Notes: 14 comes before 15.
"O" is the 15th letter of the alphabet. - Notes: "o" as in Orange Peel.
O can also stand for a hug and X can be a kiss. - Notes: I need to practice my X and O's
Hug is a synonym of cuddle. - Notes: I don't agree
Cuddle- which reminds me.

hahahahaha

Notes: I am creeped out, even though I drew this.

And that's all folks. Except for a few outlaws on the border of Mexico. And a broken, but tinted, window.

And I'm tired. zipp!

"Thomas Edison," I said, brightening up...

Do you know that Thomas Edison started going deaf at age 12? Whoa!
Thomas died on October 18, 1931.

And that's it. That's all about Thomas Edison, except for something about a light-bulb. And so since this subject was so brief, I'm gonna have to start on a new subject... I'm gonna grab my dictionary real quick...

Okay, today's other subject is on... strudel. which is defined as: "a pastry consisting of fruit, cheese, or some other filling rolled in paper-thin dough and baked.
So... I guess I like strudel. Cause I've had apple strudel bread and stuff like that. It's pretty good, but I'm not to sure about the cheese. Do you like strudel?

I'm just digging myself a grave. (I said deeply)
I can hear the funeral bells. (Someone else chimed in)
And your brain is gonna rot. (My friend said absent-minded)
It's worth the risk. (I said precariously)
I could do puns like this forever (My dad said longingly)
I can't I'm too big. (I said broadly)
My stomach hurts. (He said inwardly)
At least you don't have antlers. (I said dearly)
Okay, goodnight. (He said dreamily)
I need a bit too. (I said partially)
He has a mousy face. (John squeaked) After my dad went.
Shut up, and get me my belt. (I said tightly)
But what about the Earthquake. (John said shakily)
Stop with the puns or I'll stab you. (I said punctually)
Now you can put on the belt. (He said wastefully) -- -- yes, I know, it's the wrong kind of waist.

I think I'll create another story with these puns. ( I said rightfully) --- the wrong kind of write...
Okay, I think I'll finish this one. (He said readily)

Nakehead ( pronounced 'naked' )

I got a haircut! Arg! Now I can't stab anyone with my well-polished spikes that all the Chicks in my Junior High adore. And I adored them too. It feels like my head is a giant bald spot.
I got a buzz (AKA torture) and I can't even draw my new hair style because it would only look like this:( except sideways. And with a bit of fuzz on top. I love fuzz. Especially peach fuzz. Because, you can't choke on peach fuzz; unlike normal fuzz. Do you know that a famous Greek guy choked on a single GOAT HAIR that was in his milk? Weird.

But now I have saved humanity, because I shaved my head, decreasing the hair amount above my mouth. And above most other people's mouths too.
I just thought of a SUPER WEAPON! An antigravity hair! That means you have to worry about hair below your mouth too! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fear me.

"Pathetic." You said to your new bowling ball. But it didn't answer...

Spare Change

I made a change. Namely this one: I changed my blog's name. And you ask why? Well, because it was getting frustrated. That's why. Actually It's because I don't think this post is more on Randomization of the real world than on Obsidian Hoaxes.
If someone accidentally typed in obsidianhoax.blogspot.com instead of obesedanishhope.blogspot.com, the first thing they would see on the blog is Obsidian Hoax (at the top of the page)
They would immediately think of mall pranks - or people selling fake pumice and other volcanic geostubs (AKA rocks)
Then they would say to themselves: "It's a scam!" and go back to their weight-losing activities on their European site.
Now: because I have changed my sites name to "Randomization"
someone who accidentally types this site instead of tranquilityandchoking.blogspot.com will be mildly interested until they read one of my posts.
See? It's like professional advertising except. . . more complicated.
My favorite candy bar is Butterfingers. (but I ate too much and now I'm on a Danish diet)
Oh wait. That's not what I was talking about. So turned around and went back to the mall, where I quickly beat the crayons out of the guy who scammed me. The End.
AND NOW TO MY MAIN TOPIC !
Spare Change! I don't have any. Do you? Thanks.
Spare change is almost as bad as a spare rake or a spare chocolate chip.
see? here's ten cents in pennies: oooooooooo. they are totally useless. You can't even get them off of the computer screen. I tried. Oh, and don't bother counting the circles above. I know there are ten because there is one less than eleven. I have never had a use for spare change. I can only name 2,000 things that are worse than spare change. READY?
1. Hawaii
2. Mall Scams
3. original cocktail sauce
4. lists over 200 words long...
oh yeah,
I guess I can't finish my article. BUT you don't have to count the words in the list, because there are under 200. There are only ten.
I'm just rambling on again aren't I? Do you want me to shut up? No? Fine.

Telephone Poll

I will probably have a poll at the bottom of the blog from now on, directly under the posts. Last time I did this, no one ever scrolled to the bottom. And so I would get the results of the poll, with no votes.
Do not expect the expected of unexpected explanations and exploitative speculations. My questions will be absolutely normal. Thank You for your good mood.

APOLOGY: I am sorry for disturbing your slumber. If you are angry with me, you can pay me one clover farm (1╕) and I will give you one Diolor back. (1Ð) Then all will be well.

PASTURE: 1 sheep, 2 sheep, 3 sheep, 4 sheep. You have been pasteurized . . .

APOLOGY #2: I am sorry for bumbling on nonsensically. I will adverbally directly hesitantly halty adverbingly primarily.
Then I will post this post.

Another stupid comic

I love making comics. And on Chogger (online comic maker) I have now made a total of 52 comics. I'm proud of all of them except one.
Here's one now. I couldn't resist posting it. I just wanted you to groan.

hahahaha

Valentines Day.

HPY VLNTNS DY! I mean Happy Valentines Day! I made some cheesy (literal) valentines. I don't have them now so I can't type them up. But heres some parts of it:
Your eyes pierce me like sharp cheddar...
You are holier than the best Swiss.
If you leave I'll be real Bleu.
Pretty good huh?
Oh well. See ya later.

Flash Drive & Complaints

My flash drive only holds 1 Gigabyte. It sucks. I took a poll during school today.
I wore my shirt inside-out and took note of how many people asked me or told me about it. Guess how many did?
NONE. Even my friends or parents didn't notice. I hate my flash drive. I can barely fit 20 comics on it. :(

Here's one of the comics I have on it:

Just Kidding

Erm...

Where was I? Oh well. I hate my flash drive. And my throat hurts. Really Bad. :( This computer is slow.

My hair is shedding. My brother is annoying. My pants are smell like alcohol. I want to cry. I complain to much... You are mean. I don't have any friends. I repeat things to often. My flash drive sucks. :( This is boring. I want to cry. My c-o-m-p-u-t-e-r  is e-v-e-n slower. I don't know that the capital of Libya is. Or Ethiopia. Snowmen can't talk. :(

SEE HOW ANNOYING THIS CAN GET ? ! ?

(sob)

Sorry

It's not my fault my computer is broken. That's why I haven't been posting lately.
Right now I'm in school. All the letters on the keyboard are covered so I'm typing really slow.
DANG! I can't even post a picture because the MS Paint program sucks! O well. See you guys later.\
:(

Box

I started asking around: "What's your favorite kind of box?"
Nobody would answer.
It's not a hard question. What's your favorite kind of box?
Pizza box?
Juice box?
Boombox?

Chinese take-out box?

No Title Available, please try again later

This is one of my many friends getting mauled by a... thing.

It took about 15 seconds to draw.

Homework

You ripped my homework! YES! And your know who you are. You can't hide from me. I'm gonna find you...

I hate homework. I've had homework now... Twice this entire school year. Today was the second. And guess why... It's not because a friend ripped my math homework as you might believe, because of popular belief. It's because, I RIPPED MY HOMEWORK ! ! !
Dang, I hate math. What's the difference between (500cm/1m) times (1m/100cm) and (500cm) divided by (100cm)?
Nothing! That's why I hate math. If I do the math the second way... I get it wrong. Even though it's much easier.
BAH HUMBUG
I'll get you back for that...

Short Story Version Two

The second version of the Short Story I wrote... Tell me if you like it better than the other.
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Nick Manster was a normal pessimystic kid. Kind of... He had a strange ability. Almost every time he said something, it would become untrue.
"Mom we have car insurance right?" He asked once.
"Of course." She answered. Two days later, they got a message from their insurance company stating that their car insurance had been cancelled due to cancer problems, or something like that.
Once he almost asked his dad if he could get rabies, but he said, "It won't matter if I ask him or not."
Instead he asked, "Superheros don't exist. Right?"
"You're correct." His dad said.
"And neither do super villains?" Nick questioned.
His father nodded. Then the next day his father was at the bank and a man with an AK-47 robbed over 300 dollars from him. Within seconds of the man leaving, the robber was thrown through the front doors, unconscious. A man with big muscles and sky-blue tights and cape came in right after.
"Here's your 300." The hero said, handing the stolen cash to Mr. Manster.
"My son says you guys don't exist." Mr. Manster said unbelievably.
"Really?" The hero said.
"Yeah, but I guess you are real now since he said otherwise."
"What's that mean?"
"Whatever he says becomes untrue." Mr. Manster blurted.
"Wow." The sky-blue man said, more interested. "Let me talk to him."
Sky-blue man followed Mr. Manster home...

"Whoa!" Nick said when they arrived, "What's your power?"
"My name is Icelight, and my power is creating light and turning it into matter."
"COOL!" Nick shouted, although it really wasn't.
"I want to test your powers." Icelight said.
"Okay." Nick said.
"Watch your language." His father suggested.
"Say: "Icelight won't fall down." Icelight said.
"Icelight won't fall down." Nick repeated.
Icelight suddenly fell face first into the new purple carpet. "Ooof!" He grunted.
"Say something else, like... "A Mercedes Benz will not drive past the house."
Nick repeated it. They watched out the window until one did, five seconds later.
"Amazing." Icelight gasped.
"We need you to defeat a super villain." Icelight said, turning to Nick.
"Huh?"
"You'll be the side-kick for a hero called Jasper."
"What's his power?" Nick gibbered.
"He can turn any mineral into another." Icelight boasted.
"That's boring." Nick said, even though it wasn't.
"He'll be here any moment." Icelight nodded. Then he activated his cape and flew through the window.
"Dang! That was expensive." Nick's father muttered.

4 months later.
"You're suffocating." Jasper said breathlessly. (That's a pun.)
Nick threw off his virtual reality helmet. "This is the hardest level ever." Nick muttered toughly. (another pun)
"Put it back on please." Jasper puffed.
"I can't beat it." Nick said defeated. He unzipped his superhero jumpsuit, which was dark black, and poured water down his back. "That feels good." He didn't say, because he didn't want it to go away.
"One more time." Jasper urged singularly. (another pun!)
"Fine." Nick said, putting his helmet and suit back one.
"Oh gosh!" A beautiful heroine said, rushing into the room. Her name was called Skeptin, and her power was mind reading people when they were asleep. She was Nick's crush.
"Hurry Jasper, and you to Antiphone (Nick's super-name)." She said quickly. (hahaha)
Nick knew that she knew that he knew that all the guys liked her, including him. He had told her once.
"I don't like you," He said once, she understood.
"Trangalazar is attacking us!" She said forcefully. (another one, hahaha)
"Come on Antiphone! No dawdling!" Jasper ranted lingeringly. (this is fun, I make some pun!)
The trio rushed out of the room. Nick couldn't just say: "Trangalzar won't attack anyone ever again." That used to much power, and would make Nick fall into limbo. So instead he had to do small things like: "Trangalazar's meteor hits me and my friends." "Trangalazar's mini-black hole destroy's stuff"
Things like that would work. His only problem was he could say only some things at a time.
As they rushed down the halls, Nick kept the ceiling from caving in, the walls from collapsing and from Jasper being paralyzed by dark matter sub-energy. By the time he got to the battlefield, he was out of breath.
Trangalazar slammed a plasma disc into Atomine. "Atomine was wounded!" Nick called hurtfully. (pun)
Trangalazar turned to Nick. "Stop defying me Antiphone!" He roared haltingly. (pun)
Trangalazar spun his comet blade and threw it at Nick's head. "I'm hit!" He yelled. The blade spun overhead and lodged into a wall instead. Nick leaped aside as a proton beam whizzed past. Nick grabbed one of his explosive capsules and threw it into the villain's face. The explosion was deflected by a gravity shield and Trangalazar punched Jasper with his solar-knuckled fist. Nick started to speak but he was thrown horizontally into Skeptin by a gravity burst. Nick stood up and ran towards Steelbond.
"He's forming a nebula cloud!" Skeptin yelled. "The cloud works." Nick yelled, he felt his energy drain, and he collapsed. A nova gun went off nearby and Nick crawled towards some rubble. There was no way they could beat Trangalazar, he was to powerful.
"He's gonna shred us!" Steelbond yelled cuttingly. (pun)
"Someone is mind-controlling Skeptin!" Icelight screamed thoughtlessly. (pun)
"What can I do?" Nick called unknowingly. (pun)
"Rip his organs out." Someone roared heartlessly over the din. (pun)
Then Nick decided.
"Trangalazar is not paralyzed." Nick said unmovingly. (pun, do I really need to tell you?)
Nick almost blacked out. Trangalazar fell heavily onto a glass projection made by Icelight.
"Ow!" He yelled shatteringly. (pun)
"Trangalazar is useful..." Nick muttered skillfully. (pun)
And Nick slipped into limbo mindfully... (pun, get it now?)

THE END.

Short Story

A short story using Obsidian words... ALSO: this story is not for the faint of heart. Tell me if you like it...
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Nick was a normal pessimystic kid. Kind of... He had a strange ability. Almost every time he said something, it would become untrue.
"Mom we have life insurance right?" He asked once.
"Of course." She answered. Two days later, they got a message from their insurance company stating that their life insurance had been cancelled due to hygienic problems, or something like that.
"I can't get rabies right?" Nick asked his dad.
"If you stay away from animals you won't" He answered.
That night Nick couldn't go to sleep. Something was bothering him.
"I hear something." He said to himself. He listened, but couldn't hear something. He got out of bed and snuck downstairs for a midnight snack. He passed his parents room and tip-toed to the kitchen. His mother's thymer and her alpahoog book were out on the counter, proving that they were having pasta tomorrow for breakfast, again.
"I'll get some Pop Tarts." He said, but he settled on onion flavored chips instead. When he started down the hall again, he tripped and barely avoided falling ponderously to the floor.
Then he smelt something absolutely horrible. He couldn't tell what it was but he had a feeling someone or something was condoring him.
He heard breathing from behind him and almost yellowed. A horse came out of the shadows... He yellowed. It pounced and Nick was torn to pieces. THE END
Just kidding. Nick backed-up and looked for his dad.
"That yellow woke my parents up." He muttered hopefully. The horse advanced and Nick saw that it was only about 11 hands tall, making it a pony. Nick also observed that it was foaming at the mouth. The horse/pony demon had hydrophobia (rabies).
"Oh gosh, It's gonna kill me." Nick whimpered. The horse advanced.
"It's gonna rip me apart. Why does it have to be a horse?" He gasped. The horse whinnied and advanced. Some froth from it's mouth dripped onto the new purple carpet.
"I wish I had a phalomhagene!" He cried. Tears were blinding him. The pony advanced.
"It's okay, you're a nice pony." He soothed. It kept advancing.
Suddenly it galloped to him and knocked him to the wall. The horse spun and nipped him on the arm. The horrible breath of the beast stunned him. It was ten times worse than the school locker room. He slapped the head away as it lunged at his face.
Nick stood up and ran. The horse followed. Nick tripped on something and went sprawling. The horse didn't stop fast enough and it's hooves trampled Nick, leaving him unconscious.

The next morning, Nick awoke in a hospital bed.
"Huh?" He groaned, "I guess I'm okay."
A nurse came in and checked his bandaged arm and head. "You're feeling better?" She asked.
"Yeah." He lied. The nurse nodded. "Okay, I'll bring you some food." She left and returned quickly with a tray.
There was soup, bread, and some water in a cup. He pushed the tray away but took the bread. The soup and water looked unappetizing. He chomped away happily.
Two nurses arrived and one took his tray.
"What happened to the horse?" He asked. She looked at him like he was mad.
"I'm not mad." He reassured her. She shook her head and left. He threw his bedside lamp. It exploded on the wall. He jumped. What the heck. He thought.
"Who did that?" he asked nobody. He cackled. He threw his pillow. Hehehehe. Ha. He looked around. Whoa. What a fun place. He shook his head, sending foam flying everywhere. He slopped some foam onto his hand and drew a picture on the mirror. It was fun! He  found a strange square made of glass on the wall. Someone had drawn something on it. He smashed it and found another one that was see-through. This one he smashed too. Wind whipped through his hair. A strange lady entered she was wearing weird clothes. She screamed something.
Nick cackled again. He lunged at her.
When he was done, he left the room. He wiped his crimson stained hands on his skirt thing that he was wearing and licked his lips.
He found a white dressed man walking down the hallway. Nick let a low growl escape his throat. HEHEHE...
Nick clawed at him and the man stabbed him with some strange stick that he had been using on a clipboard. Nick howled and sunk his teeth into the man's shoulder. The man howled back.
A challenge eh? Hehehe...
The man ran and Nick caught up to him and tackled him to the floor and they slid into a strange metal box with numbers on the wall. Some red liquid and foam splattered on the carpeted walls. Suddenly the back wall closed and the man smacked a number at the bottom. The room lurched and Nick was alone with the man...

Nick crawled out of the box as a wall disappeared. He was in a polished room with three men in it. One was behind a desk and the others were by a door leading into painful sunlight.
Hehehe...
He charged, flinging foam to the sides. One of the blue door-men, pulled a thing from his belt and pointed it at Nick. Hehehehe...
He sprinted at the man. There was a bang loud enough to make Nick stop, or was that the huge force that had hit Nick in the solar plexus? The world dimmed strangely and Nick fell down.

Hehehehehe....

Two thousand ELEVEN...

Happy New Year. Since it's the new year... Here's some new yearsies... Uh.. WHATEVER.
THINGS IN 2011:
The Pendleton Art Center will be finished.
Pirates of the Caribbean 4 will come out.
3D home entertainment.
Graphene will start to be used in things such as roll-up LED screens.
A government housing project in Indonesia will be finished! YEAH!
MMXI (roman numerals)
Cricket World Cup in India, Sri Lanka, and Bangladesh.
The space shuttle's last flight.
Total Lunar Eclipse in the Middle East.
AND
Neptune will complete it's first full orbit around the sun, since it's discovery in 1846.
So have a happy 2011. I'm looking forward to all of the things above except for 7 of them.