¡ Updates. PART 5¼ !

Like my fancy title? It has the Spanish exclamations and the ¼ sign even though I was going to do ½.
¡Aye!
Anyway. I'm creating this post for updates and brain damage purposes.
So here are the blog updates: The word of the week has changed to: "The Word of every single time I get on the Blog."
I also created a new page (see above the posts right next to the title) the page is meant for you so that you can see the blog updates without me having to tell you on a post. So go check it out right after you finish reading this blog so I don't have to type anymore crap.

NOW FOR THE REAL HOOGIES!!!

Questions for you (answer as a comment)

Q: Do you read the entire post whenever I make one?

Q: Why not?

Just kidding, I have faith in you guys (and those exeptional gals out there *including Pakistan*)

Now this: I over use colons don't I? ANSWER: yes: : : : : : : : : :   k: mart:  (see below and above):

I also have brain damage  I GOT IT FOR FREE!

I also lie to much. Now this is why I want you to read my randomized posts: Although my posts and full of random crud and random repititions and random crud, they do have some meaning in them. Read "ADS" several times and you will find much truth. Kind of. No actually it's really true this time. You just have to explore my mind. (see left)
Get to know my posts, and you may understand me. If you say "But I do understand him!" Then you don't. See? When you can email me and tell me what my next post will be on. THAT'S WHEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ME! Even though if you were right I'll change it.

2 parts II (twopartstwo) ? TPT? whatever...

PART ONE: notice: I changed quote of the week to word of the week. (SEE TOP LEFT OF THE BLOG) Thanks to Mr. Davidson, (Taylor's dad) I now have that. It was his idea. The words will be pretty cool although almost every single on will be made up.

PART TWO: click each one of these: They're awesome!
Mutated dog

Spinach Fungus

Spider-man Enemies

Bass Guitars and

Texas Hold-em Massacre

HOW'D YOU LIKE THAT? Just kidding... twice. Just kidding to the eleventh power. I really have nothing importantly random to write about. SO INSTEAD I'LL DRAW A PICTURE!

and another!

YES! Dont ask me about this picture:

ADS

I hate ads, I can't resist making fun of them. I hate the ones that say: Buy one, get one free.  or Buy one and get a second for half price. I mean common! Buy a hermit crab to get one free! Buy a machete to get the second for half price! SO WHAT? What's the big deal? I mean, what about my ads? They are sure to work because they grab your attention. Has this ever been tried?

SEE? I'm sure to sell hundreds of machetes a day! I also hate those commercials with women-singing jingles. ♪ les-olsen company! ♫

Mine would work a lot better: ♫ les-εταιρεία Olsen! (hard rock male voice with Russian accent)

This is spoken in Greek... and it catches their attention! I also hate those ads that take forever to talk about, they are seriously like... 4 minutes long. I would just do a single word. Let's say you're selling, a new invention called "Firepod". You don't say: "The firepod has over 1,000 uses in twelve states! It looks really nice and my kids love it!" 

You say: "FIREPOD!" (screaming and a picture of the firepod). Then they search it and read everything on it instead of just hearing what they did on T.V.

TOTAL TIME: 2.6 seconds.

Pretty cool huh? I also hate redundant commercials. JUST $9.99, JUST $9.99! or CALL US AT 1-800-555-Hung, that's: 1-800-555-HUNG! AUGHH!

It's annoying! It's ANNOYING! JUST ANNOYING! I also hate commercials where they don't even make sense in what they are saying, this wouldn't even be a problem if they just made it one word:

Our new Tibotubor 500 is such a new experience for our heightened costumers. They will love our newest nanotoxidation technology helping them synthesize new biomaterials. The nanometer of 1:40 of our one dimension quantum mechanics and device physics helps you engineer with abalone shell with perfect elastomers and allografting. Your calcium regeneration will be woven amazingly into the DNA phosphate. It works in the Lebesgue form and was partially developed by the famous Hausdorff running with finite non-integers... BLAH BLAH BLAH.

You might as well talk about cubed-bunnies with Head Palm tree growths and Batcave stomachs and Hogwarted shoulders...

THE END

THE END... thanks for listening to me. (sarcasm)

How to Torture Hermit Crabs

I seriously thought about putting this on WikiHow, but I was afraid I'd get arrested for animal cruelty:

Idea 1: Put the hermit crab in a hamster ball. After it's in a hamster ball, you can either give it to a baby, or flush it down a toilet, it doesn't matter which.

Idea 2: Tie the hermit crab to a pencil (using yarn), put it back underwater where it belongs.

Idea 3: Put the crab in a tuba, then play it.

Idea 4: Carry the hermit crab around with you wherever you go, in your pocket!

Idea 5: Feed it nothing but potato peels and/or lettuce. It may not eat these items, so be careful.

like my art? Click this picture for a free hermit crab! JK

Pretty cool huh? I actually don't have a hermit crab so I haven't actually done any of these...

Two-parts...

PART # 1: I finally finished my book! It's about birds and platypussen. Um, platypi. Platypuses? Platies? Anyway... Here's more info on the book... THIS IS NOT A JOKE: http://abouttheauthor.yolasite.com/
THEN... you can buy this 600 page book for $5.00! NO TAX! buy it here: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=obsidian+birds

PART # 2: YOU like my poems, huh?





Click this picture for a free T-shirt!





WELL! I've had an inspiration. You know the poem: Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

Well, this poem has inspired me to write several of my own:



Fuzzy Wuzzy was a deer, Fuzzy Wuzzy drank some beer, Fuzzy Wuzzy now thinks pretty fuzzy.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a hare, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very Fuzzy was he?

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a chair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, of course not! He was a chair!

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a snail, Fuzzy Wuzzy is a weird name for a snail.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a peach, not an apricot, a peach. Peaches are Fuzzy Wuzzy!

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a man, Fuzzy Wuzzy invented pants, Fuzzy Wuzzy got rich quick...

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a science teacher in Spain, Fuzzy Wuzzy he got rich quick, Fuzzy Wuzzy died.

Fuzzy Wuzzy.

Pretty good huh?

Schizophrenic clover farms.

This is more info on schizophrenic clovers, living in farms. If you haven't read my comment on the post: Huh?

I Suggest you read my comment first...

A schizophrenic clover is a clover that goes through phases of emotional blunting, intellectual deterioration, social isolation, disorganized speech and behavior, delusions, and hallucinations. It usually goes through each of these twice or more a day. The most common of these acts are the hallucinations. Just yesterday, one of my friends, a clover named Trifolium, told me that he had a pet fireball that he could play chess with. I was so surprised that I fell off my massage chair. Every day after that, Trifolium pretended he was a ninja, even though he thought he really was. I finally called the authorities (Schizophrenic Plant Authorities: aka SPA) and had them take poor Trifolium and put him in a farm. I cried for several days.

         I was so distressed, I looked up things about schizophrenic clovers. I found out that half the population of clovers were schizophrenic. I also found out that when clovers were found with Dementia Praecox (schizophrenia) they were always placed into a farm.

A clover farm is just like an ant farm, except for that instead of ants inside, there's a clover. After the clover was in a farm, all signs of disorganized speech and emotional blunting, disappear. Sadly, delusions and hallucinations go way up, off the charts. I also found out that clovers with schizophrenia were contagious to humans. I was then really worried that Trifolium had infected me.

        I then looked up the uses of a schizophrenic clover farm. I was surprised when I read what they were used for: Blowing up doors. This was only limited to locked doors that were trapping you in a room. It had been discovered only one year before, when a young schoolboy threw a well treated clover farm at a locked ISS door. This leads to the fact that only well treated clovers explode.

       This is because when pleased, a clover produces C6H12O6(KNO3)

(KNO3) is gunpowder. When thrown, the glucose gunpowder ignites and explodes on contact of a locked door. This somehow defies the laws of explosive physics.

Minecraft

There's a fun game I like to play. It's called MINECRAFT. Minecraft is a really fun game. Believe it. I changed my look, so I am now a zombie pigman. (see below)

HERES A BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF THE GAME: you level up by mining better ores, you defend your home with swords and bows. Zombies kill you. THE END.

HERES A MORE EXPLANATORY DESCRIPTION: You mine blocks and build a home. Zombies, creepers, skeletons, and spiders try to kill you. (and some other monsters) You kill them first. THE END.

PICS:



Me, a cow, and sheep.

Me, and a cave.

I'm hot. (lava)

It snowed.



ANOTHER ME ABOUT TO COMMIT SUICIDE BY FALLING SEVERAL STORIES.

THE GRAPHICS ARE SORT-OF BAD ON PURPOSE.

Types

 So, I've figured that there are several types of people. IN JUNIOR HIGH and the world. BUT, I'm talking about Junior High school. So here you are:

1. Baddies: People who swear and are inappropriate at all times. In language and in thought. HOW TO IDENTIFY THEM: They can't say a sentence without a bad word or inappropriate word in it.
2. Nerds: This isn't necessarily nerds. If that makes sense. They just are kinda like a nerd. HOW TO IDENTIFY THEM: Instead of socializing during lunch, they read books. They also have "A"s in every class even though they read during the entire class.
3. Jocks: They can play every sport and attract the opposite gender for some reason. If they are female, they are usually cheerleaders. HOW TO IDENTIFY THEM: They are highly competitive and always other jocks around them. If they get in a fight, it's with another jock.
4. Mixes: They are a mix between two or more types. HOW TO IDENTIFY THEM: They act like types put together. (NOTE: this is the most common type)
5. Shybies: They are like Nerds, except they don't read and they have bad grades, this doesn't mean they don't have friends. HOW TO IDENTIFY THEM: Look for them, they just sit there.
6. Friendly: They are really friendly and have lots of friends. They enjoy humor and they don't think bad of themselves. HOW TO IDENTIFY THEM: They have lots of friends. They take up more than one table at lunch. They become friends with you or all your friends (if they become friends with your friends you soon become a Shybie, unless you make friends with them too.)
7. Weirdos: They collect spoons ( I have hundreds), make blogs about random things, are different than most people (like they've never gone skiing, don't know how to text, and don't watch TV), they enjoy playing pranks and telling jokes. They are usually become the artists or authors of the school. HOW TO IDENTIFY THEM: Observe them, you will be able to tell. (this is my favorite type).

Huh?

I have some questions: AND PLEASE ANSWER TRUTHFULLY!
#1: If you were in a potato sack, what would you do?
#2: If you were in a burning potato sack, what would you do?
#3: If you were trapped in a burning potato sack tied 10 stories above a Pennsylvanian man, what would you do?
#4: If you were trapped in a burning potato sack tied 10 stories above a Pennsylvanian man and you had to go number one really bad, what would you do?
#5 If you were trapped in a burning potato sack tied 10 stories above a Pennsylvanian man and you had to go number one really bad while your legs were bleeding badly from a torture treatment a few minutes ago by a psychotic leopard-man, what would you do?
#6 What is a schizophrenic clover farm and how is it used?