Scratch

I have been pondering the question, "Why do you have a scratch on your face?"
It's not like I actually have a scratch on my face... but it's still a question I need to answer.
So I came up with a few answers.
Note: ( Q always means "Why do you have a scratch on your face?")

Q:
A: Never mind. But remember; freight trains move faster then humans.

Q:
A: You tell me, you're the one that tipped the building over.

Q:
A: Well, I didn't know that Wolverine could swing so hard.

Q:
A: Well, I was shaving, and my chainsaw slipped.

Q:
A: Because the stupid jerk, sped up instead of slowing down!

Q:
A: Well that's what happens when you hold a grenade too close to your face.

Q:
A: Someone sharpened the piano keys!

Q:
A: I don't know! I was asleep when the ninjas attacked.

              Do you like these. I guess they are kinda stupid answers, since nobody believes the truth now-a-days. But they could be much worse.
Thanks for standing up for my face. It's always better then standing on my face.
That can leave some serious facial scars. In the shape of Nike symbols. Which is better than lightning scars on your forehead.
             Sorry, I got off topic again.

Box

I started asking around: "What's your favorite kind of box?"
Nobody would answer.
It's not a hard question. What's your favorite kind of box?
Pizza box?
Juice box?
Boombox?

Chinese take-out box?

Short Story Version Two

The second version of the Short Story I wrote... Tell me if you like it better than the other.
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Nick Manster was a normal pessimystic kid. Kind of... He had a strange ability. Almost every time he said something, it would become untrue.
"Mom we have car insurance right?" He asked once.
"Of course." She answered. Two days later, they got a message from their insurance company stating that their car insurance had been cancelled due to cancer problems, or something like that.
Once he almost asked his dad if he could get rabies, but he said, "It won't matter if I ask him or not."
Instead he asked, "Superheros don't exist. Right?"
"You're correct." His dad said.
"And neither do super villains?" Nick questioned.
His father nodded. Then the next day his father was at the bank and a man with an AK-47 robbed over 300 dollars from him. Within seconds of the man leaving, the robber was thrown through the front doors, unconscious. A man with big muscles and sky-blue tights and cape came in right after.
"Here's your 300." The hero said, handing the stolen cash to Mr. Manster.
"My son says you guys don't exist." Mr. Manster said unbelievably.
"Really?" The hero said.
"Yeah, but I guess you are real now since he said otherwise."
"What's that mean?"
"Whatever he says becomes untrue." Mr. Manster blurted.
"Wow." The sky-blue man said, more interested. "Let me talk to him."
Sky-blue man followed Mr. Manster home...

"Whoa!" Nick said when they arrived, "What's your power?"
"My name is Icelight, and my power is creating light and turning it into matter."
"COOL!" Nick shouted, although it really wasn't.
"I want to test your powers." Icelight said.
"Okay." Nick said.
"Watch your language." His father suggested.
"Say: "Icelight won't fall down." Icelight said.
"Icelight won't fall down." Nick repeated.
Icelight suddenly fell face first into the new purple carpet. "Ooof!" He grunted.
"Say something else, like... "A Mercedes Benz will not drive past the house."
Nick repeated it. They watched out the window until one did, five seconds later.
"Amazing." Icelight gasped.
"We need you to defeat a super villain." Icelight said, turning to Nick.
"Huh?"
"You'll be the side-kick for a hero called Jasper."
"What's his power?" Nick gibbered.
"He can turn any mineral into another." Icelight boasted.
"That's boring." Nick said, even though it wasn't.
"He'll be here any moment." Icelight nodded. Then he activated his cape and flew through the window.
"Dang! That was expensive." Nick's father muttered.

4 months later.
"You're suffocating." Jasper said breathlessly. (That's a pun.)
Nick threw off his virtual reality helmet. "This is the hardest level ever." Nick muttered toughly. (another pun)
"Put it back on please." Jasper puffed.
"I can't beat it." Nick said defeated. He unzipped his superhero jumpsuit, which was dark black, and poured water down his back. "That feels good." He didn't say, because he didn't want it to go away.
"One more time." Jasper urged singularly. (another pun!)
"Fine." Nick said, putting his helmet and suit back one.
"Oh gosh!" A beautiful heroine said, rushing into the room. Her name was called Skeptin, and her power was mind reading people when they were asleep. She was Nick's crush.
"Hurry Jasper, and you to Antiphone (Nick's super-name)." She said quickly. (hahaha)
Nick knew that she knew that he knew that all the guys liked her, including him. He had told her once.
"I don't like you," He said once, she understood.
"Trangalazar is attacking us!" She said forcefully. (another one, hahaha)
"Come on Antiphone! No dawdling!" Jasper ranted lingeringly. (this is fun, I make some pun!)
The trio rushed out of the room. Nick couldn't just say: "Trangalzar won't attack anyone ever again." That used to much power, and would make Nick fall into limbo. So instead he had to do small things like: "Trangalazar's meteor hits me and my friends." "Trangalazar's mini-black hole destroy's stuff"
Things like that would work. His only problem was he could say only some things at a time.
As they rushed down the halls, Nick kept the ceiling from caving in, the walls from collapsing and from Jasper being paralyzed by dark matter sub-energy. By the time he got to the battlefield, he was out of breath.
Trangalazar slammed a plasma disc into Atomine. "Atomine was wounded!" Nick called hurtfully. (pun)
Trangalazar turned to Nick. "Stop defying me Antiphone!" He roared haltingly. (pun)
Trangalazar spun his comet blade and threw it at Nick's head. "I'm hit!" He yelled. The blade spun overhead and lodged into a wall instead. Nick leaped aside as a proton beam whizzed past. Nick grabbed one of his explosive capsules and threw it into the villain's face. The explosion was deflected by a gravity shield and Trangalazar punched Jasper with his solar-knuckled fist. Nick started to speak but he was thrown horizontally into Skeptin by a gravity burst. Nick stood up and ran towards Steelbond.
"He's forming a nebula cloud!" Skeptin yelled. "The cloud works." Nick yelled, he felt his energy drain, and he collapsed. A nova gun went off nearby and Nick crawled towards some rubble. There was no way they could beat Trangalazar, he was to powerful.
"He's gonna shred us!" Steelbond yelled cuttingly. (pun)
"Someone is mind-controlling Skeptin!" Icelight screamed thoughtlessly. (pun)
"What can I do?" Nick called unknowingly. (pun)
"Rip his organs out." Someone roared heartlessly over the din. (pun)
Then Nick decided.
"Trangalazar is not paralyzed." Nick said unmovingly. (pun, do I really need to tell you?)
Nick almost blacked out. Trangalazar fell heavily onto a glass projection made by Icelight.
"Ow!" He yelled shatteringly. (pun)
"Trangalazar is useful..." Nick muttered skillfully. (pun)
And Nick slipped into limbo mindfully... (pun, get it now?)

THE END.

Huh?

I have some questions: AND PLEASE ANSWER TRUTHFULLY!
#1: If you were in a potato sack, what would you do?
#2: If you were in a burning potato sack, what would you do?
#3: If you were trapped in a burning potato sack tied 10 stories above a Pennsylvanian man, what would you do?
#4: If you were trapped in a burning potato sack tied 10 stories above a Pennsylvanian man and you had to go number one really bad, what would you do?
#5 If you were trapped in a burning potato sack tied 10 stories above a Pennsylvanian man and you had to go number one really bad while your legs were bleeding badly from a torture treatment a few minutes ago by a psychotic leopard-man, what would you do?
#6 What is a schizophrenic clover farm and how is it used?