ADS

I hate ads, I can't resist making fun of them. I hate the ones that say: Buy one, get one free.  or Buy one and get a second for half price. I mean common! Buy a hermit crab to get one free! Buy a machete to get the second for half price! SO WHAT? What's the big deal? I mean, what about my ads? They are sure to work because they grab your attention. Has this ever been tried?

SEE? I'm sure to sell hundreds of machetes a day! I also hate those commercials with women-singing jingles. ♪ les-olsen company! ♫

Mine would work a lot better: ♫ les-εταιρεία Olsen! (hard rock male voice with Russian accent)

This is spoken in Greek... and it catches their attention! I also hate those ads that take forever to talk about, they are seriously like... 4 minutes long. I would just do a single word. Let's say you're selling, a new invention called "Firepod". You don't say: "The firepod has over 1,000 uses in twelve states! It looks really nice and my kids love it!" 

You say: "FIREPOD!" (screaming and a picture of the firepod). Then they search it and read everything on it instead of just hearing what they did on T.V.

TOTAL TIME: 2.6 seconds.

Pretty cool huh? I also hate redundant commercials. JUST $9.99, JUST $9.99! or CALL US AT 1-800-555-Hung, that's: 1-800-555-HUNG! AUGHH!

It's annoying! It's ANNOYING! JUST ANNOYING! I also hate commercials where they don't even make sense in what they are saying, this wouldn't even be a problem if they just made it one word:

Our new Tibotubor 500 is such a new experience for our heightened costumers. They will love our newest nanotoxidation technology helping them synthesize new biomaterials. The nanometer of 1:40 of our one dimension quantum mechanics and device physics helps you engineer with abalone shell with perfect elastomers and allografting. Your calcium regeneration will be woven amazingly into the DNA phosphate. It works in the Lebesgue form and was partially developed by the famous Hausdorff running with finite non-integers... BLAH BLAH BLAH.

You might as well talk about cubed-bunnies with Head Palm tree growths and Batcave stomachs and Hogwarted shoulders...

THE END

THE END... thanks for listening to me. (sarcasm)

Watch me destroy randomness with a little bit of normality!!!!

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What a life.

Life is more random than you think. Did you know that every single second life generates something random. Just barely it went : "If I get generate a # 1-200,000 and I get a 23 I will make a emerald land on this fence near Denver."
    "DANG! I got 98,251!" Oh well now if I get a 4 out of 200,000. I will make..." BLAH BLAH BLAH! Do you know what chance it is that you would get a single digit out of 200,000? Let's see I'll go to a random # generator and make it 1-200,000 and push generate 10 times:
75522
18793
53193
191691
16618
78428
187336
132059
112383
95978

OH I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T EVEN MAKE IT TO 4 DIGITS, let alone 2, or 1 digit. SO, chance is, that if you are near Denver you will have to wait millions of days to get that emerald. BUT! ANOTHER FACT OF LIFE! What is the chance that it will be that exact latitude/longitude you are at or for it to even be gem and not something else entirely random, such as you generate a random number out of 5,000,000 and each # represents a different object? The latitude/longitude the emerald would fall even if life got 23 out of a 200,000 would NOT be even near DENVER! LET ALONE ANY OTHER PLACE YOU WERE WAITING FOR YOUR GEM! Therefore it is virtually impossible for this to happen. Especially to you! Hmmm. For any gem to land next to you would be to get a 1 out of a 4,000,000,000 chance. Oh! AND AGAIN! I'M SORRY LIFE GOT A 51,482,153!