September 20, 2010

What's new?

SPOONS! Spoon what's new! Spoons are the coolest invention besides sporks. Sadly, you can't put plastic sporks in your eyes. But you can with spoons! The only invention that comes close to spoons are socks. 
SPOONS!
I told you! You can wear spoons. And you can wear socks. You can eat with spoons. You can unravel socks into string. You can sharpen spoons and use them as weapons. You cannot sharpen a sock and use it as a weapon. You can hold things in spoons. You can hold things in socks. Spoons don't smell when you wear them. Socks smell when you wear them. You can dip spoons in ink and use them as a writing utensil. You can dip socks in ink and slap someone with it. You can throw spoons. You can throw socks. You can melt spoons. You cannot melt socks, but you can light them on fire sometimes. You can get spoons for free. You cannot get socks for free, usually. You can clean your toenails with spoons. You can keep your feet warm with socks. You can clean your fingernails with spoons. You can wear socks on your arms and hands for a type of glove.
SPOONS ARE BETTER!
What was I talking about? Oh yes, Dragon Ball Z. (See below)Wow.
So, It is this way. Tacos. HERE IS SOME POEMS I WROTE:

When ever I feel, the touch of a lily pad. Or look at the reddish pumpkin. I smell all the wonderful bakerfied things. (Bakerfied = Baked) And I dance jollily with a prancing penguin. I do the macaroni, and it does the Fox-crouch. It stampedes, I leap, but too late.
I get trampled by a stampeding penguin.
It tramples again. I trampoline.
I split off from the light-side.
I join the Extreme leftists.
I get attacked by fried dominoes.
I survive and betray my clan of tomato suckers.
They find out, and hire some Hessians to hunt me down.
I pay the Hessians to attack a baby alligator instead.
I grow a mustache. I grow another, and another, until my jar is full.
I write a pony, and ride an essay. I become vane on a weather vain.
I disgust a problem. And discussed filled my soul.
I vomited my pet volcano. I used some toiletpaper to make a tepee.
THE END

POEM #2

I
am
too
calm
for my
tongue

POEM #3

"THANK YOU"
I said to my teacher one day.
"YOUR WELCOME"
She answered as if thats all she could say.
"YOUR RUDE"
I said in a sarcastic voice.
"I"LL SEND YOU TO ISS"
Like she gave me a choice.
"NO!"
I refused, with command in my speech.
"LEAVE MY ROOM"
Was her little preach.
I left, and I bawled, and I banged on the door.
But, for all I know, she couldn't hear any more.
I knelt, and I fell, I was as good as dead.
I kept crying 'til I had no tears in my head.
Why was this happening to me? Were my thoughts.
All of the kids in my class were little bratty snots.
My teacher finally let me in the room.
The entire place was as quiet as a tomb.
I gasped, and I giggled, and I rolled on the ground.
Everyone stared, no one made a sound.
I stopped, and I sat, and I did nothing more.
I guess nobody really rolled on the floor.
I suddenly had amnesia and a pain.
I screamed a long verb, I became insane!
HUGHH! HUGHH!

August 28, 2010

Okay... You should take a look.

My wiki site. It is cool. And you can search some random stuff like... Humungous weakling or Inflamboyounto... stuff like that.

August 9, 2010

What a life.

Life is more random than you think. Did you know that every single second life generates something random. Just barely it went : "If I get generate a # 1-200,000 and I get a 23 I will make a emerald land on this fence near Denver."
    "DANG! I got 98,251!" Oh well now if I get a 4 out of 200,000. I will make..." BLAH BLAH BLAH! Do you know what chance it is that you would get a single digit out of 200,000? Let's see I'll go to a random # generator and make it 1-200,000 and push generate 10 times:
75522
18793
53193
191691
16618
78428
187336
132059
112383
95978
OH I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T EVEN MAKE IT TO 4 DIGITS, let alone 2, or 1 digit. SO, chance is, that if you are near Denver you will have to wait millions of days to get that emerald. BUT! ANOTHER FACT OF LIFE! What is the chance that it will be that exact latitude/longitude you are at or for it to even be gem and not something else entirely random, such as you generate a random number out of 5,000,000 and each # represents a different object? The latitude/longitude the emerald would fall even if life got 23 out of a 200,000 would NOT be even near DENVER! LET ALONE ANY OTHER PLACE YOU WERE WAITING FOR YOUR GEM! Therefore it is virtually impossible for this to happen. Especially to you! Hmmm. For any gem to land next to you would be to get a 1 out of a 4,000,000,000 chance. Oh! AND AGAIN! I'M SORRY LIFE GOT A 51,482,153!

July 14, 2010

Time and Flavorful Sea-Related Softballs

         Sadly, I haven't been random lately... So I decided to create a flavorful ocean softball. I first grabbed a small basketball that looked like a softball and wrapped it in construction paper. I then sprayed the entire thing with blue spray paint. But then of course, I could not sell it because of my unholy employment problem.
So, what did I do? NOTHING.... So sad...
You may say I'm crazy, but I'm not. I have serious mental, social, and psychological problems. DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME. It's not nice.
Back to the Story:
After I decided I couldn't sell this wonderful modern masterpiece. I frowned, why could I not sell it? After all those other pictures in the museums look like random blots and colors are famous. Why not my FOS? (flavorful ocean softball) Aurrgh! I can make splotches too you know!SEE? I'm FAMOUS NOW TOO! ANYONE CAN DO THIS? WHOM CAN'T? hughg ha! (huh-howg-ha)
Now don't get me wrong Picasso is very interesting, but people can do stuff like this any time.EASY PEASY!
No problemo sheesh. (I wish I had shoulders like that.) I could stab something. >
I'm so sorry. Especially for the violence towards little japanese-style orbs. :( C-U-later... WHAT!

July 2, 2010

4 Haikus

1. Nuclear Radiation

 A big explosion
 Fallout is left all over
 get Geiger Counters

2. Snails

 Slippery Slimy
 A delicacy in France
 Eat them up they're good

3. Haiku

 Read them and write them
 They all make sense but not mine
 They don't rhyme ever

4. Ancients of Ooga

 Watch out ooganis
 The boolis are coming here
 Barf inventory

Ooga



The basic plot is that the Ooganis have been captured by an evil race of bull things called "boolis". The whole premise of this game is to start a revolt and resurrect all of the dead cheifs. You get to play seven different tribes of Ooganis, each with separate powers to make the experience more fun. One of the cool things about this game is the inventory system. You pick it up, put it in your mouth, and when needed puke it up for further use.

Why this is here.

You are all wondering, "Why does this blog even exist?" And the answer is... DOES IT EXIST?  The answer to the answer is probably it exists but I'm not to sure. This entire blog is so you read and post stuff about randomness. Yes. You can bring out your inner self and say: "HA, Now I can actually post and share things about my pet snail and my friend named Hoobert without getting embarrassed." I created this post just for you. You can place anything you like on it. Shopping lists, stories about wagons, comics... it's all for you.