Virus

I had to post this because and Professor T.A Davidson, who has a PhD in virology and works at Harvard, challenged one of my PowerPoint presentations; this presentation was about viruses. So I sent him the PowerPoint, attached with some additional data, and my new malware project.
 (I needed to test it somewhere)
And now his computer screen sounds weird. HAHAHAHAHA!
Of course that's not what my post is on today. At least not that kind of virus. Since, I am a technovirologist, I will talk about the living kind of virus. Because I know less about the infecting kind.
So
I have a virus, it has 3 strands of RNA and 3 virions. It's icosahedral and is slowly destroying my stomach. Luckily its not a norovirus. THE END.

Take that...
And don't tap on the glass, or I'll bite your fingers off.

Scratch

I have been pondering the question, "Why do you have a scratch on your face?"
It's not like I actually have a scratch on my face... but it's still a question I need to answer.
So I came up with a few answers.
Note: ( Q always means "Why do you have a scratch on your face?")

Q:
A: Never mind. But remember; freight trains move faster then humans.

Q:
A: You tell me, you're the one that tipped the building over.

Q:
A: Well, I didn't know that Wolverine could swing so hard.

Q:
A: Well, I was shaving, and my chainsaw slipped.

Q:
A: Because the stupid jerk, sped up instead of slowing down!

Q:
A: Well that's what happens when you hold a grenade too close to your face.

Q:
A: Someone sharpened the piano keys!

Q:
A: I don't know! I was asleep when the ninjas attacked.

              Do you like these. I guess they are kinda stupid answers, since nobody believes the truth now-a-days. But they could be much worse.
Thanks for standing up for my face. It's always better then standing on my face.
That can leave some serious facial scars. In the shape of Nike symbols. Which is better than lightning scars on your forehead.
             Sorry, I got off topic again.

Funny

I haven't posted forever! Which is like... a long time. Since I posted almost close to the day next to the day before yesterday.
But I just had to share this:

"I like going to the park and watching the children run around because they don't know I'm using blanks."

It's a quote by Emo Phillips (whoever that is) and I think it's hilarious! If you get it...
It's okay to laugh... it gives you brain cells. Actually it only gives you endorphins... so when laughing, you get linked with the activation of the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, and in the hypothalamus, endorphins are produced....
(say ventromedial prefrontal cortex 5x fast)
Laughing is also really healthy, when the beta-endorphins are produced they stimulate your endothelial surface, which then releases nitric oxide, which dilates your blood vessels. Nitric oxide also has some other cardioprotective properties, like reduction of inflammation and decreased platelet aggregation. So laughing makes you think clearer, removes small blood clots, and stops tumors by controlling platelets.

Sorry, getting a little to scientific... but heed my words, that stuff above is true.

Duet

I've been working on my guitar and vocals. For our school Talent Show on April 12th. I'm singing a duet. Wish us luck. So I have written a poem on it. Because you love my poems.

This is just to say:

I have sung
a duet
with the neighbor
down hill

And which
we were planning
to do
for the Talent Show

Listen to us
it was amazing
so pure
and so harmonic

Good? I think so. Whoa...
Is that how you spell whoa?
It passes the spell check. So I guess.

Now, I have everything important off my mind. So now I can bug you with the minor details of my duet.
1st- My duet partner can't speak English.... So we have a very minor problem there. (Just Kidding)
2nd- Tryouts are tomorrow.
3rd- My guitar is infested with termites.
4th- My list isn't even close to the end.

Okay here's my illustration. Since I always have an illustration.

Nov. 3

Sorry: I just had to write this down somewhere.

November 3rd is my birthday. - Notes: This day makes me happy.
Because of my birthday I am 15. - Notes: I need to get my Driver's permit
15 is a magical number. - Notes: 14 comes before 15.
"O" is the 15th letter of the alphabet. - Notes: "o" as in Orange Peel.
O can also stand for a hug and X can be a kiss. - Notes: I need to practice my X and O's
Hug is a synonym of cuddle. - Notes: I don't agree
Cuddle- which reminds me.

hahahahaha

Notes: I am creeped out, even though I drew this.

And that's all folks. Except for a few outlaws on the border of Mexico. And a broken, but tinted, window.

And I'm tired. zipp!

"Thomas Edison," I said, brightening up...

Do you know that Thomas Edison started going deaf at age 12? Whoa!
Thomas died on October 18, 1931.

And that's it. That's all about Thomas Edison, except for something about a light-bulb. And so since this subject was so brief, I'm gonna have to start on a new subject... I'm gonna grab my dictionary real quick...

Okay, today's other subject is on... strudel. which is defined as: "a pastry consisting of fruit, cheese, or some other filling rolled in paper-thin dough and baked.
So... I guess I like strudel. Cause I've had apple strudel bread and stuff like that. It's pretty good, but I'm not to sure about the cheese. Do you like strudel?

I'm just digging myself a grave. (I said deeply)
I can hear the funeral bells. (Someone else chimed in)
And your brain is gonna rot. (My friend said absent-minded)
It's worth the risk. (I said precariously)
I could do puns like this forever (My dad said longingly)
I can't I'm too big. (I said broadly)
My stomach hurts. (He said inwardly)
At least you don't have antlers. (I said dearly)
Okay, goodnight. (He said dreamily)
I need a bit too. (I said partially)
He has a mousy face. (John squeaked) After my dad went.
Shut up, and get me my belt. (I said tightly)
But what about the Earthquake. (John said shakily)
Stop with the puns or I'll stab you. (I said punctually)
Now you can put on the belt. (He said wastefully) -- -- yes, I know, it's the wrong kind of waist.

I think I'll create another story with these puns. ( I said rightfully) --- the wrong kind of write...
Okay, I think I'll finish this one. (He said readily)

Nakehead ( pronounced 'naked' )

I got a haircut! Arg! Now I can't stab anyone with my well-polished spikes that all the Chicks in my Junior High adore. And I adored them too. It feels like my head is a giant bald spot.
I got a buzz (AKA torture) and I can't even draw my new hair style because it would only look like this:( except sideways. And with a bit of fuzz on top. I love fuzz. Especially peach fuzz. Because, you can't choke on peach fuzz; unlike normal fuzz. Do you know that a famous Greek guy choked on a single GOAT HAIR that was in his milk? Weird.

But now I have saved humanity, because I shaved my head, decreasing the hair amount above my mouth. And above most other people's mouths too.
I just thought of a SUPER WEAPON! An antigravity hair! That means you have to worry about hair below your mouth too! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fear me.

"Pathetic." You said to your new bowling ball. But it didn't answer...

Spare Change

I made a change. Namely this one: I changed my blog's name. And you ask why? Well, because it was getting frustrated. That's why. Actually It's because I don't think this post is more on Randomization of the real world than on Obsidian Hoaxes.
If someone accidentally typed in obsidianhoax.blogspot.com instead of obesedanishhope.blogspot.com, the first thing they would see on the blog is Obsidian Hoax (at the top of the page)
They would immediately think of mall pranks - or people selling fake pumice and other volcanic geostubs (AKA rocks)
Then they would say to themselves: "It's a scam!" and go back to their weight-losing activities on their European site.
Now: because I have changed my sites name to "Randomization"
someone who accidentally types this site instead of tranquilityandchoking.blogspot.com will be mildly interested until they read one of my posts.
See? It's like professional advertising except. . . more complicated.
My favorite candy bar is Butterfingers. (but I ate too much and now I'm on a Danish diet)
Oh wait. That's not what I was talking about. So turned around and went back to the mall, where I quickly beat the crayons out of the guy who scammed me. The End.
AND NOW TO MY MAIN TOPIC !
Spare Change! I don't have any. Do you? Thanks.
Spare change is almost as bad as a spare rake or a spare chocolate chip.
see? here's ten cents in pennies: oooooooooo. they are totally useless. You can't even get them off of the computer screen. I tried. Oh, and don't bother counting the circles above. I know there are ten because there is one less than eleven. I have never had a use for spare change. I can only name 2,000 things that are worse than spare change. READY?
1. Hawaii
2. Mall Scams
3. original cocktail sauce
4. lists over 200 words long...
oh yeah,
I guess I can't finish my article. BUT you don't have to count the words in the list, because there are under 200. There are only ten.
I'm just rambling on again aren't I? Do you want me to shut up? No? Fine.

Telephone Poll

I will probably have a poll at the bottom of the blog from now on, directly under the posts. Last time I did this, no one ever scrolled to the bottom. And so I would get the results of the poll, with no votes.
Do not expect the expected of unexpected explanations and exploitative speculations. My questions will be absolutely normal. Thank You for your good mood.

APOLOGY: I am sorry for disturbing your slumber. If you are angry with me, you can pay me one clover farm (1╕) and I will give you one Diolor back. (1Ð) Then all will be well.

PASTURE: 1 sheep, 2 sheep, 3 sheep, 4 sheep. You have been pasteurized . . .

APOLOGY #2: I am sorry for bumbling on nonsensically. I will adverbally directly hesitantly halty adverbingly primarily.
Then I will post this post.