I have been able to post all my random thoughts on facebook. Sorry blogger, you have sort of been replaced by a more complicated era!
That is all, for old time's sake
I've realized my true potential. (see below)
February 12, 2013
May 28, 2012
April 15, 2012
Titanic Disaster.
Well. Today, April 15th 2012 is exactly 100 years since the Titanic sank.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Titanic_disaster
This is a memorial to those 1,514 people dead. A horrible disaster, that eventually turned into a movie and made James Cameron a millionaire. It wasn't even that good of a movie.
Anyway, don't let me ruin your happiness, but it did happen.
Until next time... your friend. Me.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Titanic_disaster
This is a memorial to those 1,514 people dead. A horrible disaster, that eventually turned into a movie and made James Cameron a millionaire. It wasn't even that good of a movie.
Anyway, don't let me ruin your happiness, but it did happen.
Until next time... your friend. Me.
March 27, 2012
Semiconductor Physics at the Microscopic Level
I take my instruments of miniscule arrangment, and take a biomimetic approach of the many nanomaterials below.
Fabricating nanostructures, amazing lithography using my atomic force microscope, no ultraviolet MBE to show.
Creation of thin films, a dual polarisation interferometry approach to the spinotronics at hand.
Solaroid battery installed, at an atomic level. While the nanocellulose makes a biomineralization demand.
I throw down my colloids and nanorods in synthetic disgust,
it was stochastically impossible when the nanomotor was bust.
I went to the library for help, but nothing on pharmaceuticals or quantum effects in nanomedia.
It wasn't going to work, I knew it. You can't build nanoweapons, by reading from wikipedia.
Fabricating nanostructures, amazing lithography using my atomic force microscope, no ultraviolet MBE to show.
Creation of thin films, a dual polarisation interferometry approach to the spinotronics at hand.
Solaroid battery installed, at an atomic level. While the nanocellulose makes a biomineralization demand.
I throw down my colloids and nanorods in synthetic disgust,
it was stochastically impossible when the nanomotor was bust.
I went to the library for help, but nothing on pharmaceuticals or quantum effects in nanomedia.
It wasn't going to work, I knew it. You can't build nanoweapons, by reading from wikipedia.
March 13, 2012
Shnowite and the 5 dwarvez. Original German Folktale
Once upon a time as a queen sits cutting herself at the window, she throws three drops of blood on the snow that had fallen on her ebony window frame. As she looks at the blood on the snow, she says to herself, "Oh, how I wish that I had a daughter that had skin white as snow, lips red as blood, and hair black as ebony and can sing like a devil". Soon after that, the queen gives birth to a baby girl who has skin white as snow, lips red as blood, and hair black as ebony and sings like a devil. They immediately name her Princess Shnowite and then as soon as the child is born, the queen dies.
Soon after, the king takes a new wife, who is beautiful but also very very very vain. The new queen possesses a magical mirror, an animate object that answers any question if you rhyme, to whom/which she often asks: "Mirror, mirror on the wall / who is the fairest of them all?" to which the mirror always replies "You, my queen, are fairest of all, DUH." But when Shnowite reaches the age of seventeen, she becomes as beautiful as the day (I don’t know what this means.), and when the queen asks her mirror in vanity again, it responds: "Queen, you are full fair, it is true, but Shnowite is fairer than you, HAHAHAH SUCKER!" Though in another version, the mirror simply replies: "Shnowite is the fairest of them all." The witch, erg excuse me, the queen then breaks the mirror, and buys a new one.
The queen becomes jealous, and orders a huntsman to take Shnowite into the woods to be killed. She demands that the huntsman, as proof of killing Shnowite, return with her lungs, kidneys, brain, heart, stomach, ribs, spine, thigh and her liver. The huntsman takes Shnowite into the forest, but after raising his knife to stab her, he finds himself unable to kill her as he has fallen deeply in love with her just randomly. Instead, he lets her go, telling her to flee and hide from the Queen. He then brings the queen the lungs, kidneys, brain, heart, stomach, ribs, spine, thigh and the liver of a boar, which is prepared by the cook and eaten by the queen, because she thinks she is suddenly a cannibal.
In the forest, Shnowite discovers a tiny cottage belonging to a group of five dwarves, where she rests. There, the dwarves take pity on her, saying "If you will keep house for us, and cook, make beds, wash, sew, and knit, throw parties, kill innocent animals, help in the mines, eat dirt, and keep everything clean and orderly, then you can stay with us with only minor beatings, and you shall have everything that you want other than happiness." They warn her to take care and let no one in when they are away delving (what a word) in the mountains. Meanwhile, the Queen asks her new mirror once again "Who's the fairest of them all, stupid mirror on the wall?", and is horrified to learn that Shnowite is not only alive and well and living with the dwarves, but is still the fairest of them all impossibly, after the numerous beatings of old short guys.
Three times the Queen disguises herself and visits the dwarves' cottage while they are away during the day, trying to kill Shnowite. First, disguised as a peddler, the Queen offers colorful stay-laces and laces Shnowite up so tight that she faints, causing the Queen to leave her dead on the floor. However, Shnowite is revived by the dwarves when they loosen the laces, and somehow is not effected at all. Next, the Queen dresses as a different old woman and brushes Shnowite's hair with a poisoned comb. Shnowite again collapses, but again is saved by the dwarves, which makes even less sense, because how do you survive DYING? And how does a comb poison you? Did the queen stab her with it? Finally, the Queen makes a poisoned apple, and in the disguise of a farmer's wife, offers it to Shnowite. When she is hesitant to accept it, the Queen cuts the apple in half, eats the white part and gives the poisoned red part to Shnowite. She eats the apple eagerly and immediately falls into a deep stupor. When the dwarves find her, they cannot revive her (for once), and they place her in a glass coffin, assuming that she is dead. They bury her and leave her in the ground, quickly forgetting about her.
Time passes, and a prince traveling through the land sees the grave marker and says “What a queer name”. He strides to her coffin and digs it up. The prince is enchanted by her beauty and instantly falls in love with her. He begs the dwarves to let him have the coffin, and they say “What coffin?”. The prince's servants carry the coffin away. While doing so, they stumble on some roots and the movement causes the piece of poisoned apple to dislodge from Shnowite's throat, awakening her. The prince then declares his love for her and soon a wedding is planned with lots of cake and fruit, but no apples. WHAT, HES MARRYING A PERSON WHO DIED 3 TIMES? ? ? ? ? okay never mind.
The vain Queen, still believing that Shnowite is dead, once again asks her mirror who is the fairest in the land, and yet again the mirror disappoints her by responding that "You, my queen, are fair; it is true. But a young queen is a thousand times fairer than you. You should probably kill yourself, before the FBI finds you."
Not knowing that this new queen was indeed her stepdaughter, she arrives at the wedding, and her heart fills with the deepest of dread when she realizes the truth, she tears out her hair and screams at the sky. The FBI catches up and as punishment for her wicked ways, a pair of heated iron shoes are brought forth with tongs and placed before the Queen. She is then forced to step into the iron shoes and dance until she drops dead, sadly she danced for several seconds and then collapsed in teary pain, then the firing squad showed up and put her out of her misery. THE END.
Soon after, the king takes a new wife, who is beautiful but also very very very vain. The new queen possesses a magical mirror, an animate object that answers any question if you rhyme, to whom/which she often asks: "Mirror, mirror on the wall / who is the fairest of them all?" to which the mirror always replies "You, my queen, are fairest of all, DUH." But when Shnowite reaches the age of seventeen, she becomes as beautiful as the day (I don’t know what this means.), and when the queen asks her mirror in vanity again, it responds: "Queen, you are full fair, it is true, but Shnowite is fairer than you, HAHAHAH SUCKER!" Though in another version, the mirror simply replies: "Shnowite is the fairest of them all." The witch, erg excuse me, the queen then breaks the mirror, and buys a new one.
The queen becomes jealous, and orders a huntsman to take Shnowite into the woods to be killed. She demands that the huntsman, as proof of killing Shnowite, return with her lungs, kidneys, brain, heart, stomach, ribs, spine, thigh and her liver. The huntsman takes Shnowite into the forest, but after raising his knife to stab her, he finds himself unable to kill her as he has fallen deeply in love with her just randomly. Instead, he lets her go, telling her to flee and hide from the Queen. He then brings the queen the lungs, kidneys, brain, heart, stomach, ribs, spine, thigh and the liver of a boar, which is prepared by the cook and eaten by the queen, because she thinks she is suddenly a cannibal.
In the forest, Shnowite discovers a tiny cottage belonging to a group of five dwarves, where she rests. There, the dwarves take pity on her, saying "If you will keep house for us, and cook, make beds, wash, sew, and knit, throw parties, kill innocent animals, help in the mines, eat dirt, and keep everything clean and orderly, then you can stay with us with only minor beatings, and you shall have everything that you want other than happiness." They warn her to take care and let no one in when they are away delving (what a word) in the mountains. Meanwhile, the Queen asks her new mirror once again "Who's the fairest of them all, stupid mirror on the wall?", and is horrified to learn that Shnowite is not only alive and well and living with the dwarves, but is still the fairest of them all impossibly, after the numerous beatings of old short guys.
Three times the Queen disguises herself and visits the dwarves' cottage while they are away during the day, trying to kill Shnowite. First, disguised as a peddler, the Queen offers colorful stay-laces and laces Shnowite up so tight that she faints, causing the Queen to leave her dead on the floor. However, Shnowite is revived by the dwarves when they loosen the laces, and somehow is not effected at all. Next, the Queen dresses as a different old woman and brushes Shnowite's hair with a poisoned comb. Shnowite again collapses, but again is saved by the dwarves, which makes even less sense, because how do you survive DYING? And how does a comb poison you? Did the queen stab her with it? Finally, the Queen makes a poisoned apple, and in the disguise of a farmer's wife, offers it to Shnowite. When she is hesitant to accept it, the Queen cuts the apple in half, eats the white part and gives the poisoned red part to Shnowite. She eats the apple eagerly and immediately falls into a deep stupor. When the dwarves find her, they cannot revive her (for once), and they place her in a glass coffin, assuming that she is dead. They bury her and leave her in the ground, quickly forgetting about her.
Time passes, and a prince traveling through the land sees the grave marker and says “What a queer name”. He strides to her coffin and digs it up. The prince is enchanted by her beauty and instantly falls in love with her. He begs the dwarves to let him have the coffin, and they say “What coffin?”. The prince's servants carry the coffin away. While doing so, they stumble on some roots and the movement causes the piece of poisoned apple to dislodge from Shnowite's throat, awakening her. The prince then declares his love for her and soon a wedding is planned with lots of cake and fruit, but no apples. WHAT, HES MARRYING A PERSON WHO DIED 3 TIMES? ? ? ? ? okay never mind.
The vain Queen, still believing that Shnowite is dead, once again asks her mirror who is the fairest in the land, and yet again the mirror disappoints her by responding that "You, my queen, are fair; it is true. But a young queen is a thousand times fairer than you. You should probably kill yourself, before the FBI finds you."
Not knowing that this new queen was indeed her stepdaughter, she arrives at the wedding, and her heart fills with the deepest of dread when she realizes the truth, she tears out her hair and screams at the sky. The FBI catches up and as punishment for her wicked ways, a pair of heated iron shoes are brought forth with tongs and placed before the Queen. She is then forced to step into the iron shoes and dance until she drops dead, sadly she danced for several seconds and then collapsed in teary pain, then the firing squad showed up and put her out of her misery. THE END.
February 29, 2012
Am I BAD?
I feel horrible, being a human.
Well okay, that's not true, but I am being a real smart alec on Yahoo Answers. Just for entertainment reasons.
Am I evil?
Well okay, that's not true, but I am being a real smart alec on Yahoo Answers. Just for entertainment reasons.
Am I evil?
February 6, 2012
Fire Fire Fire and Toilet Paper
Yes, some idiot tried to start a fire in the Men's restroom at my high school. Or they were trying to hide that they were smoking and they had to stuff the pot somewhere quick. So we all had to stand outside, with annoying alarms blaring into our ears, freezing to death. Stupid... But. Happy Valentines day... Because I won't remember to post again until then. So until next time, don't light anything on fire.
January 11, 2012
Nothing to say, especially to you
and the title says it all. i have so little to say that I'm not going to even capitalize the start of the sentences. i just need to post something. its called post-obsession, kind of clever of me to come up with. okay now i am seriously going to start doing capitals because it's bugging me.
HAPPY NEW YEAR! ! ! ! Celebrating the end of 2011 and the beginning of different digits on the end of every date! YAY! ! ! Yes, I am late, but that's okay. We've been in a new year for 11 days! Unless you're not ready this then, then it's probably more like 20 days! ! ! Yay, congratulations to you! ! ! I'm talking to you in the future! ! ! And, it could be 2016 or something over there, and I wouldn't even notice! ! ! If the world really did end on Dec. 23rd though, you wouldn't be reading this. So tell us if the world ended okay, please.
Do you believe the world is going to end?
Me: "No."
Okay
Me: "It's not possible."
What about aliens?
Me: "Then the world isn't ending is it? Just the human race."
... Okay what about... if Earth blows up?
Me: "Impossible."
What if aliens blow it up?
Me: "Extraterrestrials don't exist."
... what if we set off bombs across the entire world, blowing it apart?
Me: "Then we're stupid."
End of Conversation
HAPPY NEW YEAR! ! ! ! Celebrating the end of 2011 and the beginning of different digits on the end of every date! YAY! ! ! Yes, I am late, but that's okay. We've been in a new year for 11 days! Unless you're not ready this then, then it's probably more like 20 days! ! ! Yay, congratulations to you! ! ! I'm talking to you in the future! ! ! And, it could be 2016 or something over there, and I wouldn't even notice! ! ! If the world really did end on Dec. 23rd though, you wouldn't be reading this. So tell us if the world ended okay, please.
Do you believe the world is going to end?
Me: "No."
Okay
Me: "It's not possible."
What about aliens?
Me: "Then the world isn't ending is it? Just the human race."
... Okay what about... if Earth blows up?
Me: "Impossible."
What if aliens blow it up?
Me: "Extraterrestrials don't exist."
... what if we set off bombs across the entire world, blowing it apart?
Me: "Then we're stupid."
End of Conversation
December 26, 2011
Anger
I know, I know, you're mad at me for not posting something about Christmas, and I still won't, that's because I'm Jewish. Now this may cause more anger among you, but yes I don't celebrate Christmas, and I don't believe in Santa Claus. So, go ahead and release your anger, but do it in a therapy session please.
Okay now I feel bad, and it isn't because of indigestion or food poisoning, it's because I lied too you. Now don't think I am related to Satan or something, because I'm not, but lying is good for you. Yes, in small amounts that is, I'm not saying it's okay to fib all the time, but its only bad if you get addicted to it. Just like marijuana. I will make this analogy for you: Lying is like a douse of Mentsuyu on your fish. It may taste good, and give you good nutrients, but eating too much of it on you Japanese cuisine, can cause an unhealthy liver and may lead to chronic dyslexia, because it contains alcohol. I strongly suggest to stop using Japanese sauces.
erm.
Well, back to Christmas,
I got some cool, stuff. Not telling you what, you'll probably figure it out soon enough. (hint: its not Mentsuyu)
but it's a little longer than a yard, and it cost a ton of money, and you have to be really talented to use it.
So hope you had a Merry Christmas, and i'll post again later.
Okay now I feel bad, and it isn't because of indigestion or food poisoning, it's because I lied too you. Now don't think I am related to Satan or something, because I'm not, but lying is good for you. Yes, in small amounts that is, I'm not saying it's okay to fib all the time, but its only bad if you get addicted to it. Just like marijuana. I will make this analogy for you: Lying is like a douse of Mentsuyu on your fish. It may taste good, and give you good nutrients, but eating too much of it on you Japanese cuisine, can cause an unhealthy liver and may lead to chronic dyslexia, because it contains alcohol. I strongly suggest to stop using Japanese sauces.
erm.
Well, back to Christmas,
I got some cool, stuff. Not telling you what, you'll probably figure it out soon enough. (hint: its not Mentsuyu)
but it's a little longer than a yard, and it cost a ton of money, and you have to be really talented to use it.
So hope you had a Merry Christmas, and i'll post again later.
December 14, 2011
Translation
My brother found this online, originally written in Portuguese, translated into English, thought it was really funny.
GUIDES
The hiring of guides and porters is mandatory. As we have no use complaining to consider this as a great opportunity to meet local people, which is very friendly. Tipping is a mandatory practice in Tanzania, so if you plan to go to Kili get ready to fork over a $ 50.00 for the guide and the porters.
Particularly recommend taking some shirts of the Brazilian team, because people love our football. They know all the names of our players. Our shirt is like a free pass in many places and win it is an honor for them. Walking down the street with this shirt makes you feel like a celebrity in town.
We recommend that the expedition is engaged in Moshi, because in Arusha, a town a little bigger, everything is more expensive. Do not bother to find the companies, because they find you everywhere as long as you arrive at the airport until you can not take it anymore. Beware of these proposals, because we found some people who lost their money.
The guide of the expedition is a fantastic person and very helpful. Has climbed Kilimanjaro and Mount Meru all the way hundreds of times and speaks English very well, so would recommend it with great pride.
Not quite sure what its about, but I think... HA HA HA HA HA... And that's about it. Full of run on sentences and needing revised fragments to the MAX.
I'm not making fun of the guy who wrote this, but of Google translate, which is where we translated it from. Maybe they should spend a little more money on their translator, because it may cause some confusion, and already has.
GUIDES
The hiring of guides and porters is mandatory. As we have no use complaining to consider this as a great opportunity to meet local people, which is very friendly. Tipping is a mandatory practice in Tanzania, so if you plan to go to Kili get ready to fork over a $ 50.00 for the guide and the porters.
Particularly recommend taking some shirts of the Brazilian team, because people love our football. They know all the names of our players. Our shirt is like a free pass in many places and win it is an honor for them. Walking down the street with this shirt makes you feel like a celebrity in town.
We recommend that the expedition is engaged in Moshi, because in Arusha, a town a little bigger, everything is more expensive. Do not bother to find the companies, because they find you everywhere as long as you arrive at the airport until you can not take it anymore. Beware of these proposals, because we found some people who lost their money.
The guide of the expedition is a fantastic person and very helpful. Has climbed Kilimanjaro and Mount Meru all the way hundreds of times and speaks English very well, so would recommend it with great pride.
Not quite sure what its about, but I think... HA HA HA HA HA... And that's about it. Full of run on sentences and needing revised fragments to the MAX.
I'm not making fun of the guy who wrote this, but of Google translate, which is where we translated it from. Maybe they should spend a little more money on their translator, because it may cause some confusion, and already has.
December 1, 2011
Wind Torn
I can't believe all the damage here in Davis County, Utah. It completely blows my mind what I've seen. A strong wind here in Layton hit, averaging about 85 mph, tearing apart fences, tipping over semi-trucks, and breaking windows. All the trees next to my house tipped over and my fence is pretty much gone.
But not as bad as other places in the neighborhood, where trees crushed cars and fences. A trailer was thrown into a house. So here's some pictures of the doom of my beloved fence.
Yah, so here's a predicament. The wheelbarrows are crushed under a fence and a tree.
But not as bad as other places in the neighborhood, where trees crushed cars and fences. A trailer was thrown into a house. So here's some pictures of the doom of my beloved fence.
Yah, so here's a predicament. The wheelbarrows are crushed under a fence and a tree.
Here the fence ripped out some of our wiring, hmmm, I think we have insurance.
You can't see it in this picture but our drain pipe up higher is hanging from our house and its crushed.
You can't see it in this picture but our drain pipe up higher is hanging from our house and its crushed.
It also tore our trampoline apart. No more safe jumping on that thing.
November 22, 2011
Breakdancin
I'm learning how to break dance. Yes, I am. Next year my highschool's musical is Footloose. And that means I have to learn how to breakdance; they go hand in hand.
It's a nice relationship but I'm missing.
November 3, 2011
Yay. I'm sixteen years old...
Yay.
Now to the exciting stuff.
This really strange thing happened. I was waiting for a ride home, just sitting there like most people sit. And I was singing because I was happy like normal. And I was sitting and singing and I was happy. I probably looked like this:
Yay.
Now to the exciting stuff.
This really strange thing happened. I was waiting for a ride home, just sitting there like most people sit. And I was singing because I was happy like normal. And I was sitting and singing and I was happy. I probably looked like this:
And I was singing and singing and then... WHAM out of the 4th dimension I fall asleep.
So I'm asleep at the tree, which is probably illegal. And then the rest of my life was ruined by a dream, but I'm not going tell you what it was. But I will draw a picture.
It was horrifying and I just kinda made the volcanoes up.
But I learned an important lesson that day. LIFE IS IMPORTANT because anyone could get attacked any second by anything. You should treat life like each day could be your last because something is hungry.
So I wrote more of my famous poetry about this:
So I wrote more of my famous poetry about this:
When doing nothing, nothing is done
But somone or something else is doing something
But somone or something else is doing something
For you
Because they are hungry.
Gettin it done, for your own life
Cause you can get ahead and SURVIVE
October 21, 2011
Tailored
Hallelujah! ! ! My clothes fit. Finally Tailored.
Yah, it's hard to find the right size of clothes when they don't sell your size in stores. I used to look like an idiot, blundering around in the wrong size of clothes.
Yah, it's hard to find the right size of clothes when they don't sell your size in stores. I used to look like an idiot, blundering around in the wrong size of clothes.
But now I have nice clothes, that are actually special just for my body, and I look nice compared to before. (Although I still probably looked nice as an idiot.)
For once I'm not making fun of anything other than myself and the store brand jerks who believe in Monosiesm (one size fits all). Which is a really stupid religeon if you ask me.
But back to clothes: My new fittings do not matter.
I bet now that I have them, I'm going to grow a couple inches in 4 directions and my tailored clothes are going to end up on my little brother. And then he'll spill mustard on them.
For once I'm not making fun of anything other than myself and the store brand jerks who believe in Monosiesm (one size fits all). Which is a really stupid religeon if you ask me.
But back to clothes: My new fittings do not matter.
I bet now that I have them, I'm going to grow a couple inches in 4 directions and my tailored clothes are going to end up on my little brother. And then he'll spill mustard on them.
October 9, 2011
Pillows
I hate pillows. I can't sleep on them, but yet I wake up on them. I mean.... COMMON!
It's a piece of fluff wrapped in cloth, and ever wondered why pillows get less fluffy the longer you sleep on them? It's because their fill is less then 300 hundred fill and there is not polyester core. Unless you have a one hundred dollar pillow, its gonna go flat.
Another thing I hate is that they turn yellow, even after washing they are still yellow. (I also hate how every different type of pillow has to be washed different.) They turn yellow because of your sweat or sometimes drool, but hopefully not. And another reason it turns yellow is oxidation. WHICH IS STUPID... what kind of company makes a product that breaks down in oxygen? Those idiots.
Any way... here's cool stuff: if you sleep on a yellow pillow, you are more likely to get acne. So that's why my face has been purified. Okay nevermind, I'm confusing myself.
Enough of my ranting. Have fun sleeping.
It's a piece of fluff wrapped in cloth, and ever wondered why pillows get less fluffy the longer you sleep on them? It's because their fill is less then 300 hundred fill and there is not polyester core. Unless you have a one hundred dollar pillow, its gonna go flat.
Another thing I hate is that they turn yellow, even after washing they are still yellow. (I also hate how every different type of pillow has to be washed different.) They turn yellow because of your sweat or sometimes drool, but hopefully not. And another reason it turns yellow is oxidation. WHICH IS STUPID... what kind of company makes a product that breaks down in oxygen? Those idiots.
Any way... here's cool stuff: if you sleep on a yellow pillow, you are more likely to get acne. So that's why my face has been purified. Okay nevermind, I'm confusing myself.
Enough of my ranting. Have fun sleeping.
September 20, 2011
Merpeople
I have so many questions about the supposedly non-existent breed of fish humans. Most people don't believe in the merfolk, but I do... O_O
Well all of the ocean just hasn't been discovered so it's possible okay?
Have they found the crash of the Titanic? No... they haven't, and they haven't found Atlantis either; which is where mermaids and mermen live in harmony with each other.
I want to grow up to be a mermologist, a subcategory of marine biology. I will find Atlantis and record their history for the world to see. I will learn their language and make peace with them. I will make a civil war of merfolk break out. I will bring never before heard of diseases into the depths of the underwater city and plague them all.
I thought the job sounded fun.
Well all of the ocean just hasn't been discovered so it's possible okay?
Have they found the crash of the Titanic? No... they haven't, and they haven't found Atlantis either; which is where mermaids and mermen live in harmony with each other.
I want to grow up to be a mermologist, a subcategory of marine biology. I will find Atlantis and record their history for the world to see. I will learn their language and make peace with them. I will make a civil war of merfolk break out. I will bring never before heard of diseases into the depths of the underwater city and plague them all.
I thought the job sounded fun.
August 31, 2011
High School
Every drama story you have ever read, but with a plot twist. Every nightmare created by sleeping Nazis. Every unimportant moment in history... COMES TO NOW . . .
HIGH SCHOOL! ! !Cheer for it or wet yourself... it's your choice... but whatever you do, remember this one thing:
You're wrong.
High School is different than you expect. The teachers and students are just plain crazy. All those stories you've made up or gossiped on; about your "weird" teachers... are just the foam you blow off your shampoo before massaging it into your hair. Overestimating your teachers in High school could save your life. Literally.
HIGH SCHOOL! ! !Cheer for it or wet yourself... it's your choice... but whatever you do, remember this one thing:
You're wrong.
High School is different than you expect. The teachers and students are just plain crazy. All those stories you've made up or gossiped on; about your "weird" teachers... are just the foam you blow off your shampoo before massaging it into your hair. Overestimating your teachers in High school could save your life. Literally.
Well, I'm not saying High school is even bad or scary, you may just have interpreted me wrong. It's not some crumbling place next to a cliff where they teach you how to become Lord Voldemort, or some other black necromancer. It would only be scary to anyone with a certain digestive rate such as mine. Or could be scary to a Kindergartner, which shouldn't happen, because Kindergartners go to Kindergarten...
So if you are having problems every day, stumbling into that endless tunnel of doom and intellectual advantages, you might just want to tell yourself to stop moaning and learn to tie your shoe.
The worst part about High school is actually lunch; because you get hungry and eat your lunch before you are even out of the line, and then you have to wait for friends to finish their lunch, and by the time they are done you are hungry again.
Another bad part is getting lost. They label the door numbers so you can find your class, but they don't realize how stupid that is... reading numbers means you have to COUNT, and how are you supposed to count? ? ? You're just in High school for puddings sake! ! !
You end up wandering the hall way with a friend low in social status. (not saying that you are low in social status, because I'm not even your friend.)
Just Kidding
When you finally find your class, it's over and you have to get to your next class, only finding out... you forgot your locker combination.You go to the office and they write everything you need to know on your hand...
Name
Age
Just Kidding
When you finally find your class, it's over and you have to get to your next class, only finding out... you forgot your locker combination.You go to the office and they write everything you need to know on your hand...
Name
Age
Locker Combination
and any personal diseases they may have given you during the wait in line.
In conclusion, I must say that I like high school and my teachers. You make new friends, and new enemies, and new mistakes. But in turn, everything turns out well after you get a hang of things. You find your classes without a schedule, you eat lunch in normal time frames, and you get D's in math. Everything is normal....
August 11, 2011
There was a... squid
I went to a Honda Dealer (I really like Honda) and I was trying out all their cars. Which was fun. Then I tried out all their helicopters and submarines too. I lost a submarine though, and now I have to pay for it! ! ! It wasn't even my fault. It was a freakin SQUID ! ! ! I swear I did nothing! ! ! And now I have to pay an outrageous fee because a stupid sandwich filling destroyed a nuclear sub!
Stupid Calamari
Stupid Calamari
July 29, 2011
uʍop-ǝpısdn ǝdʎʇ I
˙llǝʍ ɥO
˙ʇou ʎlqɐqoɹԀ
˙ǝlqıssod sı sıɥʇ ɟı ʍouʞ uǝʌǝ ʇ,uop I
˙ɹǝʌǝ ˙ʇ,uop ʎǝɥʇ ɥɔıɥM ˙ʇı pɐǝɹ ʎllɐnʇɔɐ ʎǝɥʇ ɟı ǝɯıʇ s,ʎpoqʎɹǝʌǝ sǝʇsɐʍ ʇI ˙sıɥʇ ǝʞıl ƃuıdʎʇ ǝʌol I
˙ʇou ʎlqɐqoɹԀ
˙ǝlqıssod sı sıɥʇ ɟı ʍouʞ uǝʌǝ ʇ,uop I
˙ɹǝʌǝ ˙ʇ,uop ʎǝɥʇ ɥɔıɥM ˙ʇı pɐǝɹ ʎllɐnʇɔɐ ʎǝɥʇ ɟı ǝɯıʇ s,ʎpoqʎɹǝʌǝ sǝʇsɐʍ ʇI ˙sıɥʇ ǝʞıl ƃuıdʎʇ ǝʌol I
July 16, 2011
Me Versus an Indescribable Foe!
Rule number 1: If your back tickles, kill the mosquito, before it kills you.
Me Versus an Indescribable Foe!
It all started out after I got a haircut. I was in the bathroom checking out my new hairdo when I saw a wavy form outside the window. I couldn't really see what it was because of the stupid blotted blue glass they use in restrooms. I hurried and dried my hair and jumped through the window to the recently mowed yard below. Wait! Revise: I hurried and dried the window and jumped through my yard below to the recently mowed hair.
I checked under all my blue spruces in my yard and around every lawn dart. But there was nothing that could have made such a big moving figure on the lawn.
"what the gnome?" I thought to myself. And then I was like: "But what if it dug a hole and got away?" And sure enough I found a huge 12 by 8 hole dug in the garden right where I had just planted a Cilantro Plant. "Right." I said.
I grabbed a flashlight and a pocketknife and jumped into the hole. Which was stupid. I forgot that its possible to dig down into the bedrock and not just sideways...
I estimated I fell for about 41 seconds, which ended up me landing 230 feet deep in a pool of muddy water. Immediately I was plunged in darkness when my flashlight sank to the bottom of the water tunnel. I swam around, stunned and in shock for a while. I regained my senses and swam to the edges of the hole trying to find a way out of this darkened dismal mud hole. I found nothing but rock.
"Oh crap." I said, swimming another circle to recheck.
I yelled for help and screamed but nothing.
I started panicking and kicked, but my foot didn't kick the wall, it kept going and I busted my hip on the edge of an underwater tunnel.
I didn't know If that went to anywhere, but I might have a chance of escaping if I swam down there. I took the deepest biggest breath ever in the History of Houdini.
I dove and swam through the hole, and I swam and swam and swam, and the tunnel curved up! And there was air! But it was still dark. but the tunnel walls weren't vertical and I climbed out onto a muddy service that I couldn't see.
I started my gradual accent upwards. Sloshing through who knows what in my white golf shoes.
And I finally saw light! I rushed towards it and... I was in a cave lit by a lantern sitting on a bucket. And that's all. No exit. Nobody.
I opened the bucket. It was full of iron bars each 3 feet long.
Then I had an idea. But I never got the chance cause I hand grabbed me and shoved me into the wall.
I was spun around and faced a large man with bushy facial features.
"What?" I said.
"I didn't say nothing." He growled.
"But why are you hurting me into the wall?"
"... You're in my cave."
"Okay bye." And I raced for the door, but I was still pinned on the wall, so I didn't get very far.
"Crap." I said and tried again, but I didn't get any farther.
I finally had to kill the man. REVISE: I finally bit the man and he let me go for a second and then charged me in his bold outrage of having teeth marks in his hairy knuckles. I dodged and he slammed into the wall. A huge portion of the wall collapsed and buried the man, so only his leather boots were sticking out.
Now since I was free. I reached into the bucket and pulled one of the bars out. I bent it, and then heated it in the lanternand stopped when it was white hot, and I scraped the edge off with my knife until it was sharp. I stuck the metal into the mud to cool. I repeated this until I had 4 sharp iron bars. I ripped my shirt and tied 2 of these to my shoes. The other 2 I had in my hands. I swam to the original hole and started climbing. It was tough work but I eventually made it to the top and pulled myself out into my garden. heavy breathing
I got off my flattened tomato plants and went inside.
So this was the day I killed a man in a cave protecting iron bars that were able to melt in a lantern and sharpen with a pocketknife. The iron was FAKE!
Me Versus an Indescribable Foe!
It all started out after I got a haircut. I was in the bathroom checking out my new hairdo when I saw a wavy form outside the window. I couldn't really see what it was because of the stupid blotted blue glass they use in restrooms. I hurried and dried my hair and jumped through the window to the recently mowed yard below. Wait! Revise: I hurried and dried the window and jumped through my yard below to the recently mowed hair.
I checked under all my blue spruces in my yard and around every lawn dart. But there was nothing that could have made such a big moving figure on the lawn.
"what the gnome?" I thought to myself. And then I was like: "But what if it dug a hole and got away?" And sure enough I found a huge 12 by 8 hole dug in the garden right where I had just planted a Cilantro Plant. "Right." I said.
I grabbed a flashlight and a pocketknife and jumped into the hole. Which was stupid. I forgot that its possible to dig down into the bedrock and not just sideways...
I estimated I fell for about 41 seconds, which ended up me landing 230 feet deep in a pool of muddy water. Immediately I was plunged in darkness when my flashlight sank to the bottom of the water tunnel. I swam around, stunned and in shock for a while. I regained my senses and swam to the edges of the hole trying to find a way out of this darkened dismal mud hole. I found nothing but rock.
"Oh crap." I said, swimming another circle to recheck.
I yelled for help and screamed but nothing.
I started panicking and kicked, but my foot didn't kick the wall, it kept going and I busted my hip on the edge of an underwater tunnel.
I didn't know If that went to anywhere, but I might have a chance of escaping if I swam down there. I took the deepest biggest breath ever in the History of Houdini.
I dove and swam through the hole, and I swam and swam and swam, and the tunnel curved up! And there was air! But it was still dark. but the tunnel walls weren't vertical and I climbed out onto a muddy service that I couldn't see.
I started my gradual accent upwards. Sloshing through who knows what in my white golf shoes.
And I finally saw light! I rushed towards it and... I was in a cave lit by a lantern sitting on a bucket. And that's all. No exit. Nobody.
I opened the bucket. It was full of iron bars each 3 feet long.
Then I had an idea. But I never got the chance cause I hand grabbed me and shoved me into the wall.
I was spun around and faced a large man with bushy facial features.
"What?" I said.
"I didn't say nothing." He growled.
"But why are you hurting me into the wall?"
"... You're in my cave."
"Okay bye." And I raced for the door, but I was still pinned on the wall, so I didn't get very far.
"Crap." I said and tried again, but I didn't get any farther.
I finally had to kill the man. REVISE: I finally bit the man and he let me go for a second and then charged me in his bold outrage of having teeth marks in his hairy knuckles. I dodged and he slammed into the wall. A huge portion of the wall collapsed and buried the man, so only his leather boots were sticking out.
Now since I was free. I reached into the bucket and pulled one of the bars out. I bent it, and then heated it in the lanternand stopped when it was white hot, and I scraped the edge off with my knife until it was sharp. I stuck the metal into the mud to cool. I repeated this until I had 4 sharp iron bars. I ripped my shirt and tied 2 of these to my shoes. The other 2 I had in my hands. I swam to the original hole and started climbing. It was tough work but I eventually made it to the top and pulled myself out into my garden. heavy breathing
I got off my flattened tomato plants and went inside.
So this was the day I killed a man in a cave protecting iron bars that were able to melt in a lantern and sharpen with a pocketknife. The iron was FAKE!
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